I know, I know….. it’s pink.

It’s the middle of Winter here. Cold, miserable and depressed (OK – that’s just me :o), so I thought I would use a little ‘new age’ colour therapy to ease the soul. I will probably be sick to death of it by next week and changed it back…. But until then, let’s ride the pink wave.

The kids have had their first week of school hols. It has been majorly uneventful. We’ve been nowhere and done very little! Paul and Sam went out on the boat together on Tuesday – more of a training session for Sam as Paul made him practice maneuvering and parking *gulp* Sam did really well. He’s probably more confident in the boat now than I am! However, Sam doesn’t have the encumbrance of a 4 year old welded to his knee or constantly asking for juice, crisps or a cuddle whilst he’s trying to moor and get petrol.

Actually - joking aside, Winters are bloody depressing here. The whole country is geared towards sun and outdoor pursuits that when the weather turns chilly and you can’t eat outside, the country shuts. The houses are freezing at night time; I have a redder nose than Rudolf when I glide into bed of an evening.

I’ve just re-read last year’s post from July and I was just as miserable a sad cow then as I am now! It’s definitely a weather thing; I’m convinced! I mean, we are so much further along than we were this time last year – house, business, kids; but it’s just a pants time of year. For some reason, it’s worse than Winter in England. Maybe it’s because we know how lovely it is here in the summer (whereas England never GETS a summer!), that we pine for the long summer days and the outdoor lifestyle; moaning about how hot it is and how many flies there are. Oh well, at least we’re conforming to type with the whinging pom bit :o)

Darcie's snow peas that she grew at school. Percy Thrower eat your heart out!

And, anyhow, at least we have Christmas to look forward to next Friday. I bought some Xmas paper plates, table confetti and cups yesterday in the ‘Xmas in July – 50% off’ bargain bin at Red Dot. I have purchased the watermelon and it is on an intensive IV of vodka in the fridge. As Mum put some money into our UK account to help towards Xmas (!), this will be her melon. I have lots of ideas in store for it – watch this space!

The melon getting slowly inibriated.

We have ordered a turkey from the butcher (who thinks we're mad), and will ensure all the Xmas trimmings are procured – apart from crackers maybe as we can’t seem to buy those :o( Will have to make do with party poppers and fake snow. We’re getting into the Christmas spirit. Gail’s offered to make mince pies and lots of alcohol will be drunk. If I can find the recipe, I think I’ll make mulled wine too! Tastes like crap, but makes the house smell lovely and Christmassy! Are you jealous? Perhaps you could host your own Christmas in July in Hertfordshire. OK? May not be the usual, but I’m sure you’d have more luck tracking down most of the ingredients for a slap up Xmas lunch than we will! At least brussels are in season here! All we need is a visit to Starbucks for their Eggnog or Gingerbread coffees :o( I loved those!

Paul had his check up with the docs last week and they are pleased with his nose and don’t want to see him for another 12 months. So that’s very good news. He and Sam went off together for the appointment (as you usually sit waiting for several hours). He’s also getting used to his glasses. Who’d have thought that they needed perseverance! He has got varifocals, so I guess they do take a little while to adjust.

On a tangent…. I’m turning into my Mum. I’ve noticed a few things recently that I’ve started doing that used to annoy the pants off me when Mum used to do them. The worrying thing is, I catch myself doing it; think ‘god, Mum used to do that, stop it!’ and then immediately continue doing it again! The worst one is tuneless whistling. I find myself doing this when cleaning windows or hoovering. Even Paul’s picked up on it now – telling me I’m having a ‘Mother moment’. I’m dreading to think what Mum and I will be like, wandering round Singapore like two of the Andrews sisters, mumbling and whistling tunelessly round the shops. I think I’ll pack us two headscarves like Thelma and Louise and we can hide behind some ridiculously large sunglasses, mumbling to our hearts content.

Not to be outdone by my trip to Singapore, Paul has swung a trip to a mining expo in Kalgoorlie. This is about a 6½ hour drive from us; but he’s flying, so should be there within an hour and a half. It’s Australia’s largest mining exhibition and it’s held every other year, and Kalgoorlie is home to the ‘super pit’ – have a look here: http://www1.superpit.com.au/ We’ve promised the kids we’ll take them here one day, although I think they’re more concerned that we’ll make them stand in the middle and then fill it in!

Our supplier is paying for his flights and accommodation, so it’ll be an interesting experience for him. It’s about a week after Mum leaves, so I’ll enjoy an empty house for four days – won’t know what’s hit me! Kalgoorlie has legalized brothels. No comment on that…… just wanted to tell you :o) Paul probably would ‘have a go’ but his glasses steam up and he’s virtually blind – as can be demonstrated when he unloads the dishwasher when it’s just finished: no man should be made to go ‘over the trench’ with an affliction :o) Have a look at their tasteful website http://www.theredhouse.com.au/services.html I wonder if they offer terms for 15 minutes? *shit, Paul will kill me after that comment - oh well, he never reads this crap anyway* I liked the bit where it says that credit card billing is discreet:

Visa Bill:

Dinner
Coffees
Sandwich for lunch
Whorehouse
Pack of gum

How funny!

I just left the window open and they all flew in......

I eventually put Darcie’s butterflies in her bedroom this weekend. I think they look really cool. They are supposed to glow in the dark, but we’re having such a small amount of daylight at the moment, they’re not ‘charging’. Damn these Chinese butterfly imports! I blame all this cloning – Dolly the Sheep has a lot to answer for.

My old man's a dustman...... all together now!

Here’s a photo of Darcie in her old fashioned hat that we bought last week. She tried on nearly every one in the shop, which will greatly impress their customers as when we got home, we realized she had her nits back :o( Bloody nits are driving me mad at the moment. We escaped without having them – ever – in England and for some reason we attracted them just after Christmas (don’t know how – I don’t remember advertising) and they’ve been in-situ since. I’ve tried to get rid of them – believe me, I’ve tried – but these nits seem resistant to anything that’s supposed to move them on. It doesn’t help that the great Aussie hairstyle for boys is Kevin Keegan circa 1977 and that most of the Mums don’t appear to give a sh1t about getting rid of them in their own kids hair, so I napalm my kids, only for them to sit next to nitty-nit-nerd the next day at school and – HELLO! – the nits are back home for dinner. I’m getting Mum to bring some whoop arse stuff over with her from England when she comes as the stuff they have here (all this organic crap – sod the organic – give me mustard gas!) seems to reduce the nits into fits of giggles; each time they laugh, another baby breathes its first breath. I tell you, whoever invented head lice needs to be shot. At close range. With a blunderbuss (don’t you just love that word? Three years and I’ve finally got the word ‘blunderbuss’ into the blog – yeay!) and all the mothers who refuse to treat their kids should be made to hoover up his intestines. There you go – Julia for a job in the Royal Courts of Justice, where she can dish out punishments with her own, unique sense of style (and antiquated words that people need a thesaurus to decipher).

We made cakes today, so the week hasn't been a complete waste :o)

So until we speak again, have a wonderful Christmas my children ( the Pope phoned me from World Youth Day in Sydney, but the answer service took a message – I was probably de-nitting Darcie :o). I shall think of each and everyone of you (well….. Mum, seeing as she’s the only one that reads this), whilst getting drunk on watermelon.

Australia, eh? Who’d have thought it??