Happy New Year!

Our Christmas in July was a lot of fun.

The kids even received a pressie each from Gail’s brother and Gail bought everyone a scratch card, we had crackers and party poppers and everyone had a laugh.

The watermelon had the last laugh I think…. or could that have been Gail’s punch…… or the liqueur coffee?

It ‘should’ have been Christmas day last Friday (as it was the 25th). Aussie TV even showed ‘Love Actually’ to get into the spirit – although I LOVE that film and could watch it anytime of the year. I was quite upset when I realized it was on and I’d missed half of it….. even though I have it on DVD (what a muppet, eh?). I can’t help it. It makes me very emotional, that film. It reminds me of being pregnant with Adam and in the last stages of pregnancy I used to listen to the soundtrack CD constantly in preparation for the exertion!

It was funny though as everyone left; I thanked them for coming and stated that I wasn’t ‘doing’ New Year. Just like being back in WGC when we all used to fight to NOT do New Year’s Eve. It was like a Poker game; the one with the less nerve folded first and agreed to have it at their house :o)

Yes, I’ve seen the news about the Qantas aircraft that virtually had its wing ripped off. Yes, it IS because I have booked my ticket and am flying alone. At least I’m not going Qantas – they might be (according to Rain Man) the only airline that's never had a crash, but they are also hugely EXPENSIVE and whilst I have expensive tastes, I am actually very cheap! I shall therefore be hauling my fake designer luggage (and fat arse) onto a Singapore Airlines flight and hoping for the best. It could be worse…… I hear if you fly Garuda, you actually have to flap your arms (unless you’re in first class!), the toilets are on the end of the wing and the pilots use SatNav! Or Brunei Airlines….. they don’t serve alcohol!!! Good grief – have they not seen the Cinzano ads? Flying + alcohol = glamour. I’m going to order one and hope that I’ll disembark the aircraft looking like Joan Collins (and if ONE of you mentions that I’m more like Leonard Rossiter, I’m going to ask the pilot to detour, so I can come and lump you one!). Although I would like that to be Joan Collins circa 1986 (knowing my luck, I’ll look like her now in her 70’s).

I am seriously looking forward to Singapore. I keep ‘Googling’ to find other things to do and have to keep resisting the urge to book us in for more things; Mum will kill me! We’re only there for four days and have at least a fortnight’s worth of shopping to fit in, let alone anything else! 9 weeks today and we’ll be there – woo hoo.

And…..speaking of flights, Margaret has booked hers for next January! That’s fabby news and means we’re going to have an action packed 6 months – great! I love having things to look forward to.

The landscapers did turn up this week, bless them. The weather’s not been brilliant and they’ve worked hard all week laying the reticulation pipes for the automatic watering system. They have dug trench after trench, buried the pipes and have absolutely nothing to show for it (I don’t think they’re going to be very happy tomorrow when they realize that our neighbour had his skip removed and they have driven all over their pipes! Hopefully, they haven’t done any damage.) We’re going to have over 70 individual pop up sprinklers for the garden in six different sections! We’ll see how they get on this week as the weather’s not supposed to very good again. As soon as I have anything ‘exciting’ to show you (like the green carpeted stuff) I shall post you a picture on here with pride! I am SO sick of sweeping up sand :o(

I did some Christmas shopping this week. Target’s annual Toy Sale started on Thursday. I went in with the kids on Monday and they were stocking the store with toys. Literally, there were toys everywhere – floor to ceiling TJ Bearytales – and when I walked through the doors at lunchtime on Thursday, it looked like the store had been ransacked! All the bears had gone, but I was lucky and managed to get a lot of stuff I wanted, so I left there to pick Adam up from school feeling very smug!

Finally, after 3 years, we got a frame this week for the photos of the kids that we had taken in the UK before we left for Oz. Seeing as they are different orientations, we had to order a special frame for them, but I think it looks great! Wish I’d done it earlier now!

Adam was upset though and asked where he was in the photos. I explained that he was the baby, but he was disgusted and adamant that it looked nothing like him. Time for another set of photos I think…. Although in another 3 years (the standard length of time for me to frame things), I think we could still experience the same problem.

I ‘treated’ myself to a new iron the other week. It’s one of those with a big water chamber that makes a huge amount of steam and cuts through the creases in record time. It is actually pretty cool and does reduce the length of time it takes to do the ironing (hoorah!). Also, you get a free sauna and steam facial with it, which HAS to be a bonus! I’ve been ironing today and listening to Sam’s varied and eclectic selection of songs on his iPod. How can a child go from ‘My Chemical Romance’ to ‘Mika’ via ‘Akon’. Very strange musical tastes, does Sam. He LOVES itunes and would spend the mortgage money on it if we let him. Gail’s brother gave him an iTunes voucher for ‘Christmas’ and in the space of 20 minutes, he’d downloaded TV programmes and was watching them on his ipod. Only his favourite though; Sea Patrol.

I took Sam to football yesterday with Darcie and Mr Cheese. I must have been a lucky mascot as Sam got ‘player of the week’. Darcie and Ads ordered me a ‘cup of chino’ from the coffee van that comes every week to wake the parent’s up and got themselves a hot chocolate with marshmallows each. They are old pro’s who now know the pros and cons of each ground that Sam plays at; including a grading of toilet facilities an on-site catering options. We also got Sam’s footy team photos yesterday – smart looking bunch, aren’t they?

Darcie has auditioned and been accepted for a Talent Agency. They interviewed her one day in the school holidays and then invited her back for photos the week after. She had a session with a professional photographer and will now go into their ‘talent book’ and go forward for TV and catalogue work. She’s very excited about it. It may come to nothing, or she may be busy….. time will tell. But whatever happens, she had a fab time in the studio with the photographer who made her pull poses, twirl round and flick her hair with the best of them….

The kids are back at school. Sam is trying really hard to ‘turn over a new leaf’ this term and work a little harder. They are looking forward to their topic this term on the Olympics and are doing lots of research on their chosen Country. (Sam was pretty smug to have picked Turkey - they are hardly the world's top when it comes to the Olympics, so listing all their medal winners should prove slightly easier than the poor lad with the USA - ha!). They are having their own ‘mini-olympics’ at school in the next few weeks.

Adam was pleased to get back to school (and his girlfriend!). Should be another busy term, but with so many things to look forward to at the end of it; I just hope it goes quickly and doesn't drags it's heels.

I know, I know….. it’s pink.

It’s the middle of Winter here. Cold, miserable and depressed (OK – that’s just me :o), so I thought I would use a little ‘new age’ colour therapy to ease the soul. I will probably be sick to death of it by next week and changed it back…. But until then, let’s ride the pink wave.

The kids have had their first week of school hols. It has been majorly uneventful. We’ve been nowhere and done very little! Paul and Sam went out on the boat together on Tuesday – more of a training session for Sam as Paul made him practice maneuvering and parking *gulp* Sam did really well. He’s probably more confident in the boat now than I am! However, Sam doesn’t have the encumbrance of a 4 year old welded to his knee or constantly asking for juice, crisps or a cuddle whilst he’s trying to moor and get petrol.

Actually - joking aside, Winters are bloody depressing here. The whole country is geared towards sun and outdoor pursuits that when the weather turns chilly and you can’t eat outside, the country shuts. The houses are freezing at night time; I have a redder nose than Rudolf when I glide into bed of an evening.

I’ve just re-read last year’s post from July and I was just as miserable a sad cow then as I am now! It’s definitely a weather thing; I’m convinced! I mean, we are so much further along than we were this time last year – house, business, kids; but it’s just a pants time of year. For some reason, it’s worse than Winter in England. Maybe it’s because we know how lovely it is here in the summer (whereas England never GETS a summer!), that we pine for the long summer days and the outdoor lifestyle; moaning about how hot it is and how many flies there are. Oh well, at least we’re conforming to type with the whinging pom bit :o)

Darcie's snow peas that she grew at school. Percy Thrower eat your heart out!

And, anyhow, at least we have Christmas to look forward to next Friday. I bought some Xmas paper plates, table confetti and cups yesterday in the ‘Xmas in July – 50% off’ bargain bin at Red Dot. I have purchased the watermelon and it is on an intensive IV of vodka in the fridge. As Mum put some money into our UK account to help towards Xmas (!), this will be her melon. I have lots of ideas in store for it – watch this space!

The melon getting slowly inibriated.

We have ordered a turkey from the butcher (who thinks we're mad), and will ensure all the Xmas trimmings are procured – apart from crackers maybe as we can’t seem to buy those :o( Will have to make do with party poppers and fake snow. We’re getting into the Christmas spirit. Gail’s offered to make mince pies and lots of alcohol will be drunk. If I can find the recipe, I think I’ll make mulled wine too! Tastes like crap, but makes the house smell lovely and Christmassy! Are you jealous? Perhaps you could host your own Christmas in July in Hertfordshire. OK? May not be the usual, but I’m sure you’d have more luck tracking down most of the ingredients for a slap up Xmas lunch than we will! At least brussels are in season here! All we need is a visit to Starbucks for their Eggnog or Gingerbread coffees :o( I loved those!

Paul had his check up with the docs last week and they are pleased with his nose and don’t want to see him for another 12 months. So that’s very good news. He and Sam went off together for the appointment (as you usually sit waiting for several hours). He’s also getting used to his glasses. Who’d have thought that they needed perseverance! He has got varifocals, so I guess they do take a little while to adjust.

On a tangent…. I’m turning into my Mum. I’ve noticed a few things recently that I’ve started doing that used to annoy the pants off me when Mum used to do them. The worrying thing is, I catch myself doing it; think ‘god, Mum used to do that, stop it!’ and then immediately continue doing it again! The worst one is tuneless whistling. I find myself doing this when cleaning windows or hoovering. Even Paul’s picked up on it now – telling me I’m having a ‘Mother moment’. I’m dreading to think what Mum and I will be like, wandering round Singapore like two of the Andrews sisters, mumbling and whistling tunelessly round the shops. I think I’ll pack us two headscarves like Thelma and Louise and we can hide behind some ridiculously large sunglasses, mumbling to our hearts content.

Not to be outdone by my trip to Singapore, Paul has swung a trip to a mining expo in Kalgoorlie. This is about a 6½ hour drive from us; but he’s flying, so should be there within an hour and a half. It’s Australia’s largest mining exhibition and it’s held every other year, and Kalgoorlie is home to the ‘super pit’ – have a look here: http://www1.superpit.com.au/ We’ve promised the kids we’ll take them here one day, although I think they’re more concerned that we’ll make them stand in the middle and then fill it in!

Our supplier is paying for his flights and accommodation, so it’ll be an interesting experience for him. It’s about a week after Mum leaves, so I’ll enjoy an empty house for four days – won’t know what’s hit me! Kalgoorlie has legalized brothels. No comment on that…… just wanted to tell you :o) Paul probably would ‘have a go’ but his glasses steam up and he’s virtually blind – as can be demonstrated when he unloads the dishwasher when it’s just finished: no man should be made to go ‘over the trench’ with an affliction :o) Have a look at their tasteful website http://www.theredhouse.com.au/services.html I wonder if they offer terms for 15 minutes? *shit, Paul will kill me after that comment - oh well, he never reads this crap anyway* I liked the bit where it says that credit card billing is discreet:

Visa Bill:

Dinner
Coffees
Sandwich for lunch
Whorehouse
Pack of gum

How funny!

I just left the window open and they all flew in......

I eventually put Darcie’s butterflies in her bedroom this weekend. I think they look really cool. They are supposed to glow in the dark, but we’re having such a small amount of daylight at the moment, they’re not ‘charging’. Damn these Chinese butterfly imports! I blame all this cloning – Dolly the Sheep has a lot to answer for.

My old man's a dustman...... all together now!

Here’s a photo of Darcie in her old fashioned hat that we bought last week. She tried on nearly every one in the shop, which will greatly impress their customers as when we got home, we realized she had her nits back :o( Bloody nits are driving me mad at the moment. We escaped without having them – ever – in England and for some reason we attracted them just after Christmas (don’t know how – I don’t remember advertising) and they’ve been in-situ since. I’ve tried to get rid of them – believe me, I’ve tried – but these nits seem resistant to anything that’s supposed to move them on. It doesn’t help that the great Aussie hairstyle for boys is Kevin Keegan circa 1977 and that most of the Mums don’t appear to give a sh1t about getting rid of them in their own kids hair, so I napalm my kids, only for them to sit next to nitty-nit-nerd the next day at school and – HELLO! – the nits are back home for dinner. I’m getting Mum to bring some whoop arse stuff over with her from England when she comes as the stuff they have here (all this organic crap – sod the organic – give me mustard gas!) seems to reduce the nits into fits of giggles; each time they laugh, another baby breathes its first breath. I tell you, whoever invented head lice needs to be shot. At close range. With a blunderbuss (don’t you just love that word? Three years and I’ve finally got the word ‘blunderbuss’ into the blog – yeay!) and all the mothers who refuse to treat their kids should be made to hoover up his intestines. There you go – Julia for a job in the Royal Courts of Justice, where she can dish out punishments with her own, unique sense of style (and antiquated words that people need a thesaurus to decipher).

We made cakes today, so the week hasn't been a complete waste :o)

So until we speak again, have a wonderful Christmas my children ( the Pope phoned me from World Youth Day in Sydney, but the answer service took a message – I was probably de-nitting Darcie :o). I shall think of each and everyone of you (well….. Mum, seeing as she’s the only one that reads this), whilst getting drunk on watermelon.

Australia, eh? Who’d have thought it??

Why is it that a new series of ‘Air Crash Investigations’ always begins once you’ve booked an airline ticket?

Sam and Darcie got their reports this week. They break up on Friday for a fortnight - and a day (damn those teachers and their training!), which is a pain as Adam goes back to school on the Monday and Sam and Darcie don’t go back until Tuesday. Does nobody cater for families with kids at different schools? What do you mean, not everyone is as awkward as me? Darcie’s report was brill with A’s and B’s. Sam’s was good also with similar marks, but we are meeting with his teacher in the new term to discuss his behaviour. He’s easily led and more interested in being the ‘cool joker’ at the moment than knuckling down and working (ooh, who does this sound like?) His teacher appreciates that this age group is THE worst for boys. They are finding their feet in their peer group. Pushing the boundaries of parenting and teaching (god knows Sam is pushing boundaries! I think he’s got a JCB in to help him!) At least the teachers acknowledge his potential, which is good, as when he puts his mind to it, he is intelligent, articulate and lovely to be around. However, when he’s not in the mood; its like living with Gordon Ramsay on a bad day :o(

Adam received his report today and it was more like a picture – full of images and colours. As expected, Adam is classed as ‘shy’ and ‘quiet’. Yeah – not at home though – you want to see him cut some moves in the lounge when Hi 5 are on! He's karate-chopping around the place now like a thumb-sucking Kung Fu Panda! He has done really well this term though and settled in nicely. He is now as vocal as to say he ‘likes’ school. WOAH! Big achievement! He is coming out of his shell, slowly. We were on the way to school on Monday and suddenly there was a loud ‘Oh No!’ from the back seat. ‘What’s up, Cheesey?’ we ask and were informed; ‘it’s Monday today – buddy class ‘ (when the older kids go in with them and play for a while). ‘I don’t like buddy class – they get on my nerves!’ Great! From a 4 year old. There really is no hope.

Sam’s class did their assembly item this week and it involved rhythm and skipping. Sam was NOT impressed and only held the rope for others to skip with. He had a few lines to say; which he delivered confidently; but was mightily sheepish about the skipping.

We’ve had more stuff done around the house this week and turf is scheduled for T minus two weeks. It’s really still a little too cold to lay turf as next week we still have a couple of frosts forecast which turn the grass yellow. So it’s best to wait for a few more weeks and know that it’ll be warm enough to stay green. We went to the garden centre on Monday and picked plants that we like. We are going for a ‘tropical’ theme including Birds of Paradise, palms, frangipanis and hibiscus. I’m quite excited about the garden aspect. It’s costing a large chunk of the budget (probably a lot more than we had originally anticipated, what with the pool and the paving!), but it should look beautiful when it’s finished. The landscaper has done lots of plans for us and should hopefully be on site next week / week after to start laying all the pipes for the reticulation (automatic watering system). I can certainly see now why Aussies don’t like corner blocks when you consider how much extra its costing us to landscape the verge :o( Never mind; its worth it for the extra space and I'm sure next door's dog will appreciate the option of somewhere new to crap on!

We had all the rubbish removed from the garden last week by Skippy the Bobcat driver (I think we’ve more than covered a few of his mortgage payments over the last few months!) and he did all the levels in preparation for the landscaping, so the garden – although sandy – is ready to rock and roll. It was so windy last weekend that the pool cover unrolled itself from the roller, extended itself fully across the length of the pool and then pulled the roller into the pool with it! We thought someone had been in the garden as neither of us had put the cover on. It was hugely windy last weekend though. Rockingham is developing the name of ‘tornado alley’. It’s had a few incidents over the last couple of months where mini-tornados have swept through and ripped roofs off of houses and caused a lot of damage.

We have had the pool fencing installed as well, so Pentley can nip out for a quick wee without me being in a constant state of panic about him plopping into the pool. It looks quite nice (if fencing CAN look nice?)

We’ve gone for glass just by the alfresco as it’s hugely expensive and we couldn’t justify having glass everywhere (even if it would have looked lovely).

The home cinema installation returned yesterday to hang the plasma on the wall in the living room, but the second bracket (the one they suggested we needed and we’ve had to wait for the last three weeks to be ordered) doesn’t fit and the TV keeps slipping down on one side :o( So another weeks wait until they can come out again with another new bracket. The TV is on the wall and it should be OK for the Olympics watching the running; they should be going down hill and therefore achieving record times! It’s not that noticeable, but they haven’t been able to mount the speakers either. Just annoying when jobs can’t be completed for stupid reasons and incompetence really. I’ll post a photo of the lopsided TV though so you get the picture!

The flowers are from my friend Gail as a thank you for helping her tidy her house before her move this week. Poor girl is exhausted. Look gorg, don't they?

And here's a picture of some b&w photos I had done of the kids today to sit on the new unit. I likey.

Both Darcie and Adam had an ‘end of term’ party today and took food and drink in to share with their classmates. Paul took Adam in this morning and said that some of the Mums had really gone OTT – really fancy wraps with vegetables cut into shapes. I really tried to do something nice for Ads. I asked him if he wanted me to do his sausage rolls, but all he wanted was marmite (the imported $ 27 a jar stuff – proudly sponsored by Nanny B), with cheese and (I quote) not with that ‘funny cheese’ you put in my sandwich last week (meaning nice cheddar); I want my special cheese (i.e. processed). So how proud was I this morning to send Paul in with a plate of processed cheese and marmite! I did cut the crusts off, so effort WAS made. Put that in your ‘vegetable shape’ pipe and smoke it. To be honest, you’re lucky I can even see in the mornings, let alone make sandwiches, so this is a major achievement.

I bet I lost marks on the ‘magical Mum’ chart today :o) and my star has been moved to the ‘falling star’ section – like Darcie has in her classroom. I’m sure the Mum’s get graded as well as the children. I always feel so inadequate when I drop Adam off. There’s usually something I’ve forgotten or I’m late dropping him off (because of the school run with the other two). It must be a private school thing, as I’m always left feeling like the student that’s stuffed up! I liken it to that woman on 'Keeping up appearances'. A perfectly competant women, until she's in the company of Hyacinth Bucket. That's me...... apart from the competant part, obviously :-) I'm usually composed and organised until I pull into the car park of Ad's school and realise I've forgotten his drink bottle. Or his hat. Or his 'special news'. God, I'm a failure! Wonder if they do an evening course entitled ; 'the organised mother; how to simulaneously bake a cake, hem a school dress, de-flea the dog and catch the end of 'Deal or No Deal'? There must be a need for this surely? I can't be the only incompetent, panic stricken Mum who's forgotten the library book on a Monday morning?

Oh - something to look forward to; we've invited Gail's lot and her bro's family over on Friday 18th July for a 'Christmas in July' extravaganza! There will be turkey and crackers and I might do a Vodka Watermelon - always fancied one of those! Should be fun. I'll try and take some photos, but I always end up drunk after half an hour and miss the moment. I'll try harder this time :o)

Thanks to Debbie for the 'New Home' card. It was really lovely and my post box really appreciated it - thank you very much :o) I'll email you soon!

Paul's got another ENT appointment with his consultant next week, so that's something to look forward to (NOT!). They always seem to fall in school holidays. Never mind, we'll have a trip to Fremantle and he can treat us to chips by the harbour after :o)

And just lastly...... there’s a couple of ‘really Australian’ ads on the TV at the moment; one features outfits for pets (you know the doggy combat coat – just in case your pooch should get called up for National Service), and no word of a lie, at the end of the advert in small print after the price is written ‘dog not included’. No shit Sherlock? Really? For $19.99, I’d want something to fill the combat trousers please!

Another ad shows a mobile download which imitates an X-ray machine so that when you run the phone over your hand, you can see an x-ray of the fingers. It says on the bottom of the ad; ‘Please note; this is for fun and not a real x-ray machine’. Help me….. I need to escape. They are sapping my brain cells………….