We are moving into the new house on Monday 26th May. Up til then, I've got sorting, packing, chucking out, more packing, a little cleaning, running a business, ferrying various children around the Metropolitan area, attempting to keep things oprganised, (so I know where the 'stray' sock is in a blind panic at 8.27am), preparing packed lunches, counselling services to a husband, dating advice for a 10 year old, gardening to be done...... all leave is cancelled. Sleep is for the weak. Wanna swap places? Thought not!
We need to seriously think about chopping Pentley's nuts off too. They are so large now, they have applied for their own postcode and the testosterone they are emitting could fuel a few Adam's apples in a sex-change clinic! He is *huge* now, so when he jumps up for a 'cuddle' he knocks the kids backwards off their feet. It's prompted a few 'birds and bees' conversations in our house, I can tell you.
Conversation example one:
'Why has Pentley got that red bit on the end of his willy, Mum?'.
'Oh...... is that the time? Come on kids, we're late for school!'
'Mum - it's four o'clock. We've been to school and come home again. Why is his willy red?'
'Ask your Father'.
Conversation example two:
'Mum, why is the dog 'humping' Sam?'
'Eerrr...... how do you learn these words? Is it the children at school leading you astray?'
'No Mum. I've known about humping for ages! Why is he trying to have puppies with my brother - doesn't he know Sam's a boy too?'
'He's just a little confused, darling'
'Oh I know all about that. He must be GAY'
Conversation example three:
'Mum..... why is the dog licking his willy'
'...........because he can!'
Sam's school swimming team got a mention in the school newsletter this week: http://www.secretharbourps.det.wa.edu.au/newsletter/Archived%20Newsletters/2008/29th%20April%202008.pdf The well behaved and presented bit was obviously when Sam popped to the loo. His behaviour is pants lately and he's taken to gelling his hair so he looks like Sonic the Hedgehog. No wonder Pentley's taken a shine to him - probably thinks he's a labradoodle or a cockaleekie (or some other stupid cross-breed names that they give the poor mongrels these days. As if its not bad enough that your Mum and Dad are from different breeds, you than have to face the life long humiliation of being known as a groodle). I digress...... Yeay! Go Secret Harbour Swim Team!!!
I'm wracking my brain now trying to think what other news we have, but I can't think of much that you'd be interested in to be honest! We've been working, cleaning out garages (argh!), doing school stuff, having public holidays...... it's the same shit as England, but the bucket's shinier. Ohh... add 'bucket shining' to the list then.
The new house is annoying us now as we just want to move in. Everytime we have to go over we take a box, or twenty. My hope is that on moving day, the removal guys and the lorry will just be doing the large furniture and a few boxes. I would like the bulk of it already done and unpacked by then (well, a girl can hope, can't she???) The removal fairies might turn up and do it all for me. I've been a good girl all year and the bloody Easter Bunny ignored me, so I think it's the least someone in Fairyland can do for me :o(
I might sneak over one night and have a spa bath all alone before we all move on .....bliss. I have candles and I shall get a good book and bugger off for an hour or two on my own. With any luck (and a fair wind) I might manage 20 minutes before someone notices I'm missing - yeah right! The kids can't seem to breathe at the moment without me following behind whispering in their ears.....' and in........ and out.......and in........and out.......' I filled the bath up the other day when I was cleaning the en suite and thought I would try it and make sure that it was working OK. It took an AGE to fill up, but I went outside to plug the spa pump in (they are all mounted on an outside wall to keep the noise down). I plugged it in, but someone had pushed the 'ON' button on the side of the bath. It whirred into action. Yeay, I thought and wandered back into the bathroom (round the side of the house). Until I got to the bathroom and realised that most of the spa jets were pointed to the ceiling and water was being pumped over the floor and up the walls faster than an episode of 'London's Burning'. Great!!! Took me three quarters of an hour mopping that one up, so I've already been 'bitten' by the spa bath.
The kids have their names on a rota that they've drawn up for the bath and I'm sure even the dog has sneaked his name down for a Wednesday.
