We're in!

We have a new address and a house full of boxes. Loads of ‘incidentals’ that crop up and cost a fortune; like a post box – seems so primitive to merely cut a slot in the front door – how quaint. Oh no, we have to shell out $400 on a limestone box with a slot that sits at the bottom of the driveway so that Postman ‘Sodding lazy’ Pat doesn’t have to part his arse with the motorcycle seat! Oh? You want house numbers, so that said lazy Postman will know whose mail to post through the slot? That’ll be extra….. as will the padlock to stop any nosy parkers or cheque sniffers opening your flap and stealing the goods! Total cost $450. Having your post delivered safely and cosseted? Priceless!

The move went OK (as moves go). I’m not moving again EVER. I really mean it this time. Moving sucks! I don’t know how we can accumulate so much crap between us; but we do and it’s expensive and time consuming carting it from one hovel to another. Anymore and I shall become a snail and just live in a camper van; sitting in my own waste and detritus like Mr Trebas from ‘A Life of Grime’.

We are, however, ‘in’ and the house is bew-te-ful.

I shall take this opportunity to show you all round (seeing as I haven’t given you any photos for months). Considering we’ve not been in a week yet and some of these photos were taken after 24 hours, I think we’re looking pretty good! The office needs some attention, but I don’t know where to start, so I walk in sit down, ponder for a few minutes and then decide to come back to it later!

So first up; here’s the view from the street. We haven’t had all the paving finished yet at the back, so until that phase is completed, there is no grass or planting; this is the last thing that’s done.

We’ve had the pipe work laid for the retic as this needs to be in places under the paving in certain areas – like round the pool for pot plants.

The path to the laundry - yes ALL trades leave their mess behind! The man at the dump loves us!

A few more cuts to do and the paving will be finished!

These photos show the dining room. To the right of these photos is the lounge and through the windows is to pool (to the back of the house).

Here's the view of the stairs from the lounge:

Then comes Paul’s baby – the home theatre.

In here we can watch TV, Foxtel (like Sky), DVD’s, listen to SONOS (on demand music via the internet) and eventually plug in an Xbox or PS3 (once we’ve bought one :o) It’s a really cool room.

We built a stage for the seats, so that the back row is raised and there are no arguments over who has to sit at the back as there are heads in the way.

Here’s the master bedroom.

Our furniture looks really cool in here. There’s a plasma to be hung on the wall, but the theatre guys ran out of time last week, so they’re coming back next Friday to finish off the rest of the work – like hanging both plasmas and installing the in-ceiling speakers for the lounge and the al fresco.

I did the kids activity room today.

They have a sofa bed in here – just in case Paul and I should ever lose our sanity again and allow the kids to have a sleep over. This is also going to be the ‘spare’ room for when the Nan’s come over. If the bed’s really uncomfy, I’ll chuck one of the kids in here and the Nan’s can have their room.

Darcie’s room looks really homely and comfy already.

We’ve got her name up on the wall and just need a few more sticky hooks to get her other personal bits and bobs dotted around the place. I love Darcie’s room – think it’s the little girl in me!

Everything’s pink and fluffy and there are lots of cushions to lounge on – girl-heaven!

Darcie and Sam both have a flat screen TV in their rooms too! Talk about lucky!!! They can watch Foxtel on them too. Sam is in ‘Simpson’s’ heaven – yeuch!

Ad’s room is cool.

He’s got his train table in there, his storage unit and his ‘Gordon’ and there’s still loads of floor space for him to litter with his toys. We lost one of the castors on his bed in the move, so the base is sitting on the floor at the moment, but I’ll see if I can get a replacement from the bed shop this week. He quite likes the new house. He still manages to navigate the stairs at night and he ends up in bed with us by the morning! He was a little scared by the strange howling noise he heard on the first night, which turned out to be the air con, but he’s settled in OK – all things considered.

I haven’t touched Sam’s room and have let him arrange it as he wanted it (it’s changed THREE times already this week). I didn’t want to interfere, but he’s said today that he would like me to do it for him, so I’ll have a go at ‘Mummy-fying’ it for him whilst he’s at school this week.

You can’t see in the photos, but every one of the kid’s rooms and the activity has three full size mirrored wardrobe doors that slide. Not only do they make the rooms look light, bright and even bigger, but the storage they offer is fantastic!

The dog has been the most unsettled of all of us following the move. The first night he cried and cried. It must have been so strange for him! Bless. But he seems to have adapted a little more – especially after we put an off-cut of carpet in his kennel (which he preceded to shred! – oh, he poo’d and wee’d on the tiles as well yesterday as he doesn’t know which door to run to to tell us he needs to go out :o(

Paul and I are frazzled. It still seems a little strange to have finally moved in to the house that has been part of our lives for the last two years! I’m sorry if this is a boring, braggy post, but this is a major achievement for us. To eventually be able to move into the house that we designed and watch grow and evolve in front of us is massive! The kids put up with a lot with us working and moaning; one day (hopefully) they’ll realise what it’s all been about! We can now put some permanent roots down. I’ll miss Secret Harbour Boulevard. It was a lovely house and enabled us to grow the business – having a ‘proper’ office certainly helped. How Paul put up with the garage in the old house, I’ll never know! Just watch this space to see what we can achieve now we have a plush, spacious office with all mod-cons! The world’s our lobster!

If you want to know our new address just send me an email. The cheap number we set up from the UK (3p per minute) still remains unchanged, so you can still reach us on that number.

OK – sentimental post over (that’s twice now…..). Welcome to the new chapter in our lives. Next step permanent residency! There’s no stopping us now!

And finally.... here's the photo that started it all. Us standing on the block of land that would one day have our house sitting on it! I shall take a photo this week of us all standing by the front door and post it on here for comparison.

We've come a long way, baby!!

OK, OK, I know I shouldn't be here, but this is my 'therapy' (along with the gin bottle, that is - and I've already hit that this evening :o)

I should be packing - or unpacking. Or cleaning. Or organising. But I'm knackered. We're doing quite well. I have taken boxes and boxes of stuff over the house - a lot of it *shamefully* that we haven't even touched since it was packed up in WGC! It's been sat in the garage in a little time warp; gathering mouse shit and dust. Some of Paul's clothes that I discovered are almost back in fashion! I SAID ALMOST! ha ha ha.

Had a little 'lump in the throat' moment today. It would have been Dad's birthday and as I was merrily unpacking a box of kitchen stuff, hidden in the bottom was a bottle of Famous Grouse - Dad's favourite tipple. It was like a sign that Dad was with me. Probably stupid, and it was only a bottle of whisky (that we sneaked through Customs which Dad would have approved of, I'm sure), but I found it comforting - especially given the relevance of the date and the fact that I chose today to unpack this box.

I had another moment like this in the week when Mum sent me though a necklace with a pendant on it with 'best daughter' on it. Mum and I have always had an on-going laugh about the 'No 1 Mum' pendants that you can buy in Argos. She threatened me for years with buying me one for Christmas, or my birthday, or Mother's Day, or.... well, she just threatened me a lot with them as they were my pet hate :o) But I was really touched that she'd sent it. Sometimes I think I'm the worst daughter in the world for moving to Oz and taking the grandkids with me; but it was just something we had to do. I think having lost my Dad and Paul's Dad fairly young in life, it was a big wake up call for us both and we didn't want to reach retirement age without having 'experienced' life - or at least had an 'adventure' of sorts. It warms my heart to think that Mum doesn't resent me for doing this. It was the hardest thing we had to do that day we left for Heathrow, but..... I don't know - do you ever feel that things happen for a reason? The way that our plans all fell into place? We couldn't have planned the timing any better than it happened. I just have a strong feeling that in years to come, we'll know WHY we had to move here. Be it that Adam runs for Parliament, or Darcie becomes a Vet (her current career choice) or Sam joins the Australian Navy (after his favourite TV programme)..... there's just something that will be a 'eureka' moment and the penny will drop. Anyhow, I just want Mum to know that I love her heaps. I miss her everyday; there's not a day when I don't think about her or think 'I must remember to tell Mum that', or email her with the day's goings on. Thanks for supporting us (in every way). We all love you with all our heart Mum- thank you :o) OK... blink tears from eyes and move on......

OK, melancholy moment over (that'll be the gin - lol - or the anti-depressants (which you probably shouldn't mix with the gin, but I'm smiling all right????!).

Darcie had her assembly yesterday and was brilliant! She had a few words to say right at the end of their item and addressed the school with such confidence!!

Here she is in full flow.

There's no way on earth that I could have done it at her age. She was absolutely fab and put her whole heart and soul into the songs.

Stunner :o)

She looked so beautiful too. She's growing up. Even Paul had to admit that I 'turned out a good one' (?) with Darcie.

Addressing the school.

We gave her an iPod as a reward afterwards. She's so placid and helps a lot with Adam when we're trying to work. She never asks for anything and she's had a rough time over the last few weeks with a few little hic cups that have upset her at school and we both felt that she deserved a bit of a treat. She was really chuffed with it and Sam loaded on some LBC podcasts for her along with all her favourite songs. A happy little bunny.

Sam has been a complete reprobate lately. I won't go into it here in great depth, but it involved a phone call from the Deputy Principal last Friday and Sam is in DEEP WATER!! I think he's having his 'attitude' delivered in bulk by a courier at the moment. Good grief, I didn't expect this sort of challenge from him at the age of 10. At the end of the day, he is Paul's son and it's the 'nature versus nurture' debate. The fact that they both clash is because they are so similar. I'm sure Sam will develop into a well rounded individual (ultimately), but he's a real challenge at the moment. His punishment is three months grounded and dog poo duty for that period, so you can gauge for yourself the severity of the 'crime' :o(

Adam has got over his 'blip' at school with 'piss-gate'. We think (after much probing) that the issue was caused by the teachers putting a ping pong ball in the toilet for the boys to aim at. Adam obviously took offence to this and decided he would rather piss in his joggers. Fair point! Luckily, the cleaners removed a pp ball from one of the stalls (trap one, Adam's favourite) and all is harmonious in his little four year old world once more.

The kids seem to be doing a tag-team of problems at the moment. Adam had piss-gate, then passed the baton to Darcie who was upset at school who then passed the baton to Sam who well and truly dropped it and has since been bashed round the head with it. Blooming kids! No wonder I’ve got more grey hair than a badgers bum.

I would say that Paul has been on my side and not causing any of the worries, but he’s had an eye test this week and they have decided that he needs glasses. His sight has been getting worse lately – he has trouble reading small(ish) writing when it’s close to his face (old age syndrome, I think it’s known as!). It wasn’t helped by me making the appointment for him and giving his name as Mr Magoo, the almost-blind cartoon character. I said to the receptionist to keep an eye out for him and if he was asking for an eye test at the butchers next door, matters were worse than we anticipated. We’ll get Mr Magoo some specs once we’ve moved and things are more ‘sorted’ – I know, I can dream, can’t I?

Sam has to give a talk to school next week on his future chosen career path. I thought it was really sweet when he said he wanted to be a salesman like Dad. See, I told you they are uncannily similar. Paul decided that he wanted to be a salesman too like his Dad as he quite liked the idea of a new car and being able to plan your own workday. I think Sam sees the nice things we’ve got and thinks he’ll have a slice of that too. Of course, it’s not down to the business, it’s our new venture ‘Dolphin on a stick’ that brings in the revenue…. Oh, and the thousands of dollars I ‘invest’ every week at the casino.

The weather’s turned now and it’s cold and rainy. It’s a soul-less place in the winter. Our new swimming pool has been cleaned and could be swam in now, so it’s as if its taunting us with its turquoise blue waters in the driving rain. Oh, well – there’s always next summer :o(

You can't see the iceberg from this angle.

We managed a trip out on the boat last weekend and took the kids to ‘five fathom bank’. No, it’s not a watery branch of the TSB (lol), but where the shelf plunges from 13 metres in depth down to about 40+ metres and all the fishy dudes hang out. We were hoping to catch a few said fishy dudes, but didn’t – we’re not very good fisher-people.

Adam took this photo of Darcie and I on the boat - not bad for a 4 year old!

There’s been a whale wash up at Rottnest this week. It was alive and they were trying to get it back into the water (NO! It wasn’t me in a swim suit before you comment!), but it had to be put down in the end. The coast guard is on high alert now as the whale carcass attracts shark. Free meal at the all you can eat Whale Buffet – hard to resist. Paul and I took the boat out for a quick blam last Monday whilst the kids were at school, just to keep the barnacles off the prop, and as we were headed out to the ocean, a pod of three dolphins were on our wake. They were scooting along, literally a foot from the back of the boat, riding along in the steam of water the prop was pushing out. They put on a lovely show for us – doing 360 degree turns under the water, so you could see their bellies. They also jumped right out of the water, level with where I was standing on the back of the boat. It was magical and I was really choked up. I didn’t have my camera with me though as we were only going for a quick scoot up the river – damn and blast :o( Still, I enjoyed it :o)

I’ve added a few pictures of Pentley this week for your delight and delectation. Yes, he’s still with us. The furry fleabag is a complete looney – every day he bashes his nose on the wall when he turns round; misjudging the size (for a change). He’s OK, but would be a hundred times better if he didn’t nibble things when we let him in the house; felt tips and pencils are his favourites and his personal best is 1 minute, 28 seconds from being let into the house and destroying something, having his arse kicked and being thrown back outside in the cold. Not bad going.

From 'AAAaaahhhhhhhhhh'

To 'EEEEEEEWWWwwwwwwwwwww'

Roll up, roll up. Place your bets. Which one's the dog and which one's the 10 year old?

No harmless animal is safe from the furry f*ckwit in 'destroy' mode as this innocent kangaroo shows :o( He has no mercy. When the poor toy screamed for his life, Pentley laughed - evil that dog - or maybe he's caught a virus from Adam during their love-in.

..........Oh, how we laughed......

It's Mother's Day here in Oz today. Thank you for your kind wishes :o)

The kids have been just as annoying as usual (if not worse for trying to be better, if that makes ANY sense whatsoever????), Paul took us for a quick 'off roading' experience in the car on the way home from doing some jobs at the house, and got the Prado stuck in the sand, and then - the cherry on the cake - hired me a 'chick flick' dvd from Video Ezy that we all snuggled down to watch this afternoon that verged on a soft porn movie! It had Ben Stiller in it for goodness sakes, so we thought (naively!) how bad could it be!? Very, was the answer. Even the dog blushed at the part that featured a horse with an erection trying to mate with a Mexican lady!

So, as you can tell, Mother's Day has been anything but uneventful!

We did some work over the house, which involved burying......(wait for it....not the dog.....no, not Sam, but that was a good guess!) the base for the patio umbrella. We've buried it so that only the hole for the brolly is visable and the paver can then pave round it. We've concreted it in as the umbrella is a really large, cantilever one which, when the wind catches it can become airborne with all the force of the new, double-deck Boeing.

The paver came back last week and paved the steps to the front of the house and the bullnosing round the pool. He's got another job to go to and then he's coming back to finish off the garden - hence us having to get the base buried if we want him to pave round it. He's an awkward bu**er, so if it's not done before he starts, you've got two hopes of him helping!

It's been an eventful week this week. Darcie was sent home from school again this week with a tummy ache, but I think we've got to the bottom of what was causing her to keep coming home and it wasn't medical. Hopefully, we'll keep an eye on things, but they should improve on that score.

Adam was also sent home from school early when his school phoned me and informed me that he'd had an accident. 'What?' said I, 'an 'accident, accident' or a 'wet himself' accident?' It turned out to be the latter and although he had a change of clothing in his bag, it had gone (and I quote), 'right through to his socks and he's very, very upset'. Not as upset as I was at 12 o'clock having to go back to school to pick him up, I can tell you! I've paid for a full day - a pair of p*ss stained socks shouldn't interfere with that :o) I quickly gauged for myself just how upset he was as I found him fully installed in the staff room, eating his lunch with the teachers!!! I can see this beginning a pattern now..... if I wee myself, I can have lunch with the top bods! He looked like the cat that got the cream. So tomorrow, as well as threatening him with not sleeping during rest time (he's the only one in the class to nod off and then the teacher can't wake him for love nor money...... erm, who does that sound like? All she needs to add is snoring and a little dribble and he'd be a mini Paul :o) we now have to ensure that he holds his bladder long enough to make it to the toilet!!

See what I mean about his 'bollies' needing their own postcode?

We 'wormed' the dog this week. After an 'interesting' session trying to get a very large dog to sit on a set of domestic weighing scales, we eventually managed and got his weight as being just under 30kg, which interestingly is just what Miss Parcel weighs too...... so if we ever need to worm her, we'll know exactly how many tablets to give her crushed in her dinner too! We managed to get a photo of him 'smiling' today..... he also has that look on his face as if to say 'get it out of your system for God's sake and leave me alone already!' He puts up with a lot.

I think the expression in his eyes says it all :o)

I make him bark like a looney when I threaten him with a flip flop. He runs round the house baring his teeth and ready to mame.

Sam's been picked for the school soccer team as well now! I'm not saying he's not sporty, but I shall be looking out for the 'Mrs Robinson' syndrome with his female sports teacher! Sam has already said that he's one of her favourites lol! He has friendly matches every Wednesday afternoon during school time, which pleases Sam greatly. The team is made up of Year 7 and 6 players and Sam is the only one to have been selected from Year 5. Can't see it myself..... but then that's me back to being good old supportive Mother material (NOT).

Darcie has her school assembly on 21st May, so they are practising hard. Her class are singing Kookaburra sits on the old gum tree (which I used to sing in Brownies - although with slightly different words. I think verse two goes something like this:

Kookaburra sits on the electric wire

feeling very hot with his pants on fire

*will get the rest of the verse when Darcie wakes up tomorrow, but it's strange!*)

Should be good. Darcie's got to fashion herself a tail from a pair of tights and some stuffing. I look forward to posting the photos. Sam also has his assembly this term, but I don't think it's for a while yet. Can't cope with too much excitement in one hit.

So, that's about it from this update. I'll upload a few photos over the week when I've taken them off the camera. Our house is gradually looking more bare as we transport carloads of crap over to 'Arfur'. It will be lovely to have one house looking nice, rather than two houses looking completely chaotic. Might get round to posting some photos of the house soon too.... just always want that 'next bit' done before I post the pictures!

Take care guys x

We have a moving date (:-8


We are moving into the new house on Monday 26th May. Up til then, I've got sorting, packing, chucking out, more packing, a little cleaning, running a business, ferrying various children around the Metropolitan area, attempting to keep things oprganised, (so I know where the 'stray' sock is in a blind panic at 8.27am), preparing packed lunches, counselling services to a husband, dating advice for a 10 year old, gardening to be done...... all leave is cancelled. Sleep is for the weak. Wanna swap places? Thought not!


We need to seriously think about chopping Pentley's nuts off too. They are so large now, they have applied for their own postcode and the testosterone they are emitting could fuel a few Adam's apples in a sex-change clinic! He is *huge* now, so when he jumps up for a 'cuddle' he knocks the kids backwards off their feet. It's prompted a few 'birds and bees' conversations in our house, I can tell you.


Conversation example one:
'Why has Pentley got that red bit on the end of his willy, Mum?'.
'Oh...... is that the time? Come on kids, we're late for school!'
'Mum - it's four o'clock. We've been to school and come home again. Why is his willy red?'
'Ask your Father'.


Conversation example two:
'Mum, why is the dog 'humping' Sam?'
'Eerrr...... how do you learn these words? Is it the children at school leading you astray?'
'No Mum. I've known about humping for ages! Why is he trying to have puppies with my brother - doesn't he know Sam's a boy too?'
'He's just a little confused, darling'
'Oh I know all about that. He must be GAY'

Conversation example three:
'Mum..... why is the dog licking his willy'

'...........because he can!'

Sam's school swimming team got a mention in the school newsletter this week: http://www.secretharbourps.det.wa.edu.au/newsletter/Archived%20Newsletters/2008/29th%20April%202008.pdf The well behaved and presented bit was obviously when Sam popped to the loo. His behaviour is pants lately and he's taken to gelling his hair so he looks like Sonic the Hedgehog. No wonder Pentley's taken a shine to him - probably thinks he's a labradoodle or a cockaleekie (or some other stupid cross-breed names that they give the poor mongrels these days. As if its not bad enough that your Mum and Dad are from different breeds, you than have to face the life long humiliation of being known as a groodle). I digress...... Yeay! Go Secret Harbour Swim Team!!!


I'm wracking my brain now trying to think what other news we have, but I can't think of much that you'd be interested in to be honest! We've been working, cleaning out garages (argh!), doing school stuff, having public holidays...... it's the same shit as England, but the bucket's shinier. Ohh... add 'bucket shining' to the list then.


The new house is annoying us now as we just want to move in. Everytime we have to go over we take a box, or twenty. My hope is that on moving day, the removal guys and the lorry will just be doing the large furniture and a few boxes. I would like the bulk of it already done and unpacked by then (well, a girl can hope, can't she???) The removal fairies might turn up and do it all for me. I've been a good girl all year and the bloody Easter Bunny ignored me, so I think it's the least someone in Fairyland can do for me :o(

I might sneak over one night and have a spa bath all alone before we all move on .....bliss. I have candles and I shall get a good book and bugger off for an hour or two on my own. With any luck (and a fair wind) I might manage 20 minutes before someone notices I'm missing - yeah right! The kids can't seem to breathe at the moment without me following behind whispering in their ears.....' and in........ and out.......and in........and out.......' I filled the bath up the other day when I was cleaning the en suite and thought I would try it and make sure that it was working OK. It took an AGE to fill up, but I went outside to plug the spa pump in (they are all mounted on an outside wall to keep the noise down). I plugged it in, but someone had pushed the 'ON' button on the side of the bath. It whirred into action. Yeay, I thought and wandered back into the bathroom (round the side of the house). Until I got to the bathroom and realised that most of the spa jets were pointed to the ceiling and water was being pumped over the floor and up the walls faster than an episode of 'London's Burning'. Great!!! Took me three quarters of an hour mopping that one up, so I've already been 'bitten' by the spa bath.

The kids have their names on a rota that they've drawn up for the bath and I'm sure even the dog has sneaked his name down for a Wednesday.