Kinda goes without saying really,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!
Love ya loads and loads - can't wait until November!

Just in case you missed it the first time!

Ah bless, the kids have a sleep over in Adam's room. Aren't they lovely when they're like this? For the other 23 hours in the day they're a bag of monkeys!!

As a final picture for this post (we're taking Paul away for a couple of nights as it's Father's Day here on Sunday - I'll update some more when we get back).......



WE HAVE BRICKS!! AND DOOR FRAMES!

If they don't start work by Wednesday, I'll send Sam down to site - it's amazing what he can build with lego....... it's NOT that different, surely! Sorry - promise not to call you Shirley anymore! Have a great weekend ;-)

We have a portaloo!!! I am SO excited!!

I shall be popping down every morning from now on with fresh (scented) toilet paper, finest cotton hand towels and Molton Brown handwash! Ours will be the poshest po on the block! I may even get the local Estate Agents round to give us a valuation!

It rains.......... and the slab gets poured!

Of all the days to pick to pour the slab, they chose Saturday and the day it's rained most all week! We drove via the site on our way to the boat show today - not expecting anything to be going on following yesterday's flurry of activity, and there were three guys trying to level off wet concrete in the pouring rain!

This is the base for the house - Aussie equivalent of foundations.

View from the front door (........one day!).

Where the slab drops down will be our en suite. It has to be lower to allow for waterproofing and the thickness of the tiles.

So, we don't expect there to be a huge amount of activity on the site now for a new weeks. What tends to happen is the slab gets poured, then left to settle and dry out for a few days. Then it gets smoothed and buffed with a power mop thingy before another bit of drying out and the brickies arrive. In between this however, the bricks and window frames normally get delivered to site and sit there looking useless for a few weeks.

So that's the excitement on the house - sorry if I bored you with the pictures of wet concrete, but for us, it's kinda exciting! To think that each one of those pipes will be a drain, sink, bath or toilet....... OK! I'm sad!

The boat show was OK. Didn't buy anything (hoorah!). We saw lots of gorgeous boats, but for us to upgrade, we'd probably want one that we could sleep in and because we have an abnormally large family ;-) it would involve another $100,000!!!! So, we shall dream on and save our shipping expeditions to swimming pool companies and landscapers for the time being.

You’ll be pleased to know there are lots of pictures this week – in the way that Sam chooses his library books!! Well, what a week it’s been. We’ve been up….. we’ve been down – and thank heavens it’s Friday!!

Tuesday was D-Day – that’s D for disaster AND Darcie! We went for a haircut as she wanted her hair to look nice for assembly. I thought I’d booked a respectable hairdressers on a friend’s recommendation, but no – it was a franchise of “Sweeney Todds”. She looked in the mirror and told me she looked ‘hideous’. She’s five, for goodness sakes! She also got very upset when the lady had finished and asked why she had made her look ‘like a boy’. My god, it’s short! Like Victoria Wood’s hairstyle during her ‘unflattering’ period. Never mind – I just hope it grows in time for the school photos in three weeks!

The ‘peak of the week’ was Wednesday and Darcie’s Assembly. The whole class did brilliantly! Everyone who wanted a speaking part did it well and nobody got their lines wrong! Darcie was SO excited and even the Principal made a fuss of her afterwards and came into their classroom afterwards to high-five them all! They were the best cheeky monkeys the school had ever seen!

The star says her lines perfectly in front of 200 pairs of eyes!

The monkeys all sit quietly and wait for their cue.....

There had also been some movement on the site today. They had cleared it all and levelled it and the pegs had been re-marked. Not a lot of excitement – it’s like half a day on and four days off, but I’m sure progress will be made slowly.

Before you ask, NO I didn't flatten it with my bum!

Thursday we had some good news about Paul’s medical tests. He went to the Doc’s for a routine blood test and the Receptionist told him that his results were in…… He’d been last week for an ‘all singing, all dancing’ check on his heart. He has always had chest pains and what with one thing and another decided to get it all fully checked out. He opened the envelope fearing the worst, but it was great news! He’s perfectly fine and fully functioning (well, his heart is, anyhow!).

This is Paul's heart! How amazing is this picture!

To all of those who accused him of being a heartless bas*ard, here's the proof that he actually has one! Funny looking, isn't it? Clever how they get the images though - looks like they've wrenched it from his chest and then shoved it back in again - in reality, he just went through a mini-MRI type machine that whizzed round him. You had to be careful about any metal objects though - apparently if you had any type of metal plpates or screws within your body, they were liable to be whipped out by the magnets! How would that work with a woman with a coil - one minute it was in, the next stuck to an MRI machine - not a good look!

Work has been a bit pants this week and a big deal we were told was ours has fallen at the final fence, however, health is far more important than anything as trivial as the business or where we end up living at the end of the day! You can’t live ANYWHERE if you’re dead, can you? That made no sense whatsoever, but I know what I meant!

Friday they really did get a move on with the site. We now know the name of our site manager and we have the client liaison contact now, so hopefully things will start to pan out. The slab should be going down on Wednesday (give or take 72 hours!!!) and now we have footings (of sorts!). The quote came through for the swimming pool – too expensive to start, but we paced it out on the site today and it’s massive (probably too big, I think – although Paul thinks a pool is preferable to grass as it doesn’t need mowing!). We’ll have to see about the pool….. time and budgets will tell. We also went to see about getting some prices for window treatments and finally got the carpet samples we’ve chased four times!

We have concrete..... we have pipes sticking up..... we have a rates bill for $540!!

It’s been a funny old week what with one thing and another. It’s been lovely to hear from a few mates back in England though, so thank you for making the effort ;-)

Will keep you all updated and post anything hugely exciting – right now after the week we’ve had, I’m going for a lie down in a darkened room with a VERY large gin and tonic!! See you when I sober up..... if that ever happens!

This is a very exciting post - in more ways than one!

This week we should have movement on the house! There are still a few loose ends to tie up with the builders, but this Wednesday, they are due to go to site and re-peg. Then Friday they are due to carry out site works (running the plumbing lines etc, I suppose) then next Wednesday (16th – also Darcie’s class assembly day), they are due to pour the slab!!!!

The Delaney Family on the site of their 'house' It'll be interesting to see how much the kids have grown by the time the house is finished and we can move in!

A final view from the back of our garden looking towards the golf course.

They don’t have foundations like the UK. The whole house is built on a concrete slab. All will become clear once we post the pictures (clear as mud!). This last week we have ordered and paid a deposit for the floor tiles in the house – this is because we want them to match what is going in the en-suite and if we don’t order them at the same time that the builder will, we’ll be unable to match them in 18 month’s time – also theoretically, they should be cheaper too! We have also done the same with the carpet. Ridiculous really when you consider that we haven’t even got any foundations, but we’ve paid a deposit on carpet! Everything is going through such price hikes at the moment, if we can pay a 10% deposit to secure the price, it’s worth doing.

Can you see something?

That's better - looks like a digger to me!!

We went back to see the guy at the show home today that we dealt with when choosing the house and he said the price rises are amazing. Last month alone, one model increased by $40,000!! They up the specification of the house by $20,000 and then increase the price by $40k, so you feel like you’re getting something ‘extra’. Hummmmm! Glad we ordered ours when we did. He also said (on a VERY positive note), that the current build time seems to have dropped to 15 months – rather than the predicted 18! Fifteen months would be excellent and mean we would be in for November 2007, which is well under the two year ‘signing contract to moving in’ time frame we were originally quoted. Fingers crossed, eh? We’re just going to pickle the tradesmen to get them to want to work on our site; the slab goes down – we do a beer run for the lads. The brickies come in – we do a beer run for the lads…. get the picture? If it costs us a few hundred dollars but gets the tradies doing little extras for us, or working weekends, it’ll all be worth it.

I’m going to have to start a separate section of the blog for ‘house updates’ I think. I appreciate for anyone else, twenty photos of our drainage system from every angle may begin to grow tiresome, so I might see if I can restrict it to its own section! I think we’ve got so caught up with the house that we don’t realise how big it’s going to be. It’s not until things like the man in the carpet shop tells us that he could get his whole house in our bedroom and kitchen that it hits home that this is going to be one big house! Paul reckons our old house would fit into it about 3 times!!! Wow! Bring it on!

We’ve got a busy couple of weeks coming up. We’ve got a lunch meeting in Perth on Wednesday with the guy from ADT (sorry Addy – off to day care!). Then the end of the week should be a hive of activity on the plot. Paul’s got a medical appointment on Thursday, so me and Mr Cheese will go into Perth with him for that. Next week is Darcie’s long awaited class assembly. They have been practicising for weeks and have made Monkey masks and maracas shaped like coconuts (they are amazing! They’ve papier mached balls with bits of pasta in, so they make a lovely noise when you shake them, then they have painted them brown and rolled them in brown sawdust, so they REALLY look like coconuts!). They are also going to be sporting monkey tails. I can’t wait to see them. It’s very daunting for them though to be standing in front of four year groups, introducing the Principal and singing and dancing. We’ll see how they all get on.

Last Friday Darcie’s class had a party and invited all the parents to attend. This was because we’d reached the letter ‘P’ in the alphabet, and P was for PARTY! It was cute and we all took along some food and shared it with the kids. They all wore party clothes and spent the whole afternoon playing in the playground as a treat!

We’ve still got lots on our plates with getting another bank account organised with another bank so that we are able to take credit cards. Once again, the Australians seemed to take a very simple task and escalate it into a mammoth job, which takes days to resolve and more people end up getting involved than the entire cast of Ben Hur! Never mind, eh? To be as laid back as the Aussies……. will we ever get there I wonder? They just accept bad service as the norm and appear grateful!

Sam had his annual ‘Lapathon’ at school today. This is to raise funds for the school, by sponsoring the kids to do laps of the Oval (or school field). He was limited to ten laps (thankfully!), otherwise, I think he’d still be there going round and round in a bid to raise more funds for the school and to simultaneously bankrupt Paul and I! Not too difficult as task as Sam seems already to be well on the way to mastering that one!!!

Darcie has another birthday party to attend on Friday, so she’s been with me today to the shop to choose pressie, card and wrapping paper. It’s Ashley’s party, so she wanted to get him something ‘special’ ???

Sam’s starting his birthday countdown soon. He doesn’t really believe in the Birthday Fairy and is convinced that it’s me doing all the donkey work; however, just to hedge his bets, he’s still prepared to have his opinions changed! On his list for this year is a battery for his PSP (he fried the last one!), a new PSP game, a mobile phone, an electric guitar (although I have it on good authority that the birthday fairies wings may not be strong enough to carry this one and she may leave it for Santa to deliver with the use of his sleigh!), a few books and some colouring pencils. On the whole, not a BAD list, considering Sam has usually spent £500 with one page of the Argos catalogue! The trampoline has been a huge hit again and every day the kids enjoy playing on it. I looked out the window one day whilst Sam and Darcie were at school and Adam had pulled his ride-on bike up to the edge of the bounce-aline (as he calls it) and hoisted himself up and was bouncing happily away wearing a t-shirt, a pair of wellies and an exposed bottom – potty training, don’t you know! He was as happy as larry with the wind blowing round his nether regions. I however, got slightly concerned with a circling gang of cockatoos and ushered him back inside quickly. Could have looked like a juicy lunch from a distance and I would like grandchildren one day!

I think that’s all our news for the moment, apart from to say that

MUMS BOOKED HER FLIGHT FOR XMAS!!!

Not that I’m excited or anything!! We haven’t told the kids yet, although I’ve got a feeling I won’t be able to keep it a secret until November, but I’ll give it a damn good go, just to see the looks on their faces. Darcie was speaking to Mum on the phone the other night and asked her when she was coming over? Mum said she would once it started to get a little bit warmer. Darcie went on to tell her in great detail about flying via Hong Kong with Cathay Macific (as she calls them) and warned Mum to take someone with her if she needed the toilet as the loos on a plane are very noisy and scary. ‘You won’t actually get sucked out of the plane’ Darcie told Mum, ‘but it’s very scary, so get one of the Air Hostages to hold your hand!’ Can you imagine???? Probably best not to! As I said before, it’s a very scary place in between Darcie’s ears!

Goodbye xx

Are Rainbows lucky?

We’ve seen two whole rainbows today – not for us these half-arsed efforts that disappear behind trees, oh no! We’ve seen two huge ones today that stretch all the way over the horizon in a beautiful semi circle. Which (for the quick amongst you), also means that we’ve had some rain……. Lots of it! I think we’ve had the entire winter’s quota in the last two days and there is lots more forecast for the next fortnight! Good job Oz is an Island already, otherwise I think we would have broken our tether and would now be headed for New Zealand! The boat’s sat on the drive collecting water like a very expensive washing up bowl! It’ll take us a day to dry it out after all this rain. It feels nice though. I get a strange happiness now from a day’s rain – in a similar way I suppose that we all used to feel happier after a day of sunshine in the UK. It’s lovely to hear the sound of the rain hammering on the roof tiles (lucky we haven’t got a rental house with a tin roof! Can you imagine the noise that would make?).

Well, the kids are now back at school. First week of the UK holidays and my lot are back with their noses to the grindstone! It feels as though they haven’t had long enough off though. We’ve done quite a lot with them I suppose, with days out and trips here and there, and we’re more knackered than Sam and Darcie are! The thought of back to the routine of shouting at them in the mornings to get their teeth washed and their faces brushed doesn’t fill me with glee – especially when Paul can’t get his carcass out of bed until 8.20am!! [:-(

We are now on ‘Fish Watch – Week 3’. One of Darcie’s beloved, best friends in the whole world, her bestest ever birthday present (her fish), has travelled to meet his maker on the porcelain pathway three weeks ago now – and Darcie hasn’t even noticed! She’s fed them (very occasionally), stared at them and poked her finger in the water, but she’s still yet to notice that one’s gone AWOL! And we thought about getting a dog? Good grief, none of us would remember to feed it in a fortnight and sit talking about how thin it’s looking. Perhaps we should know our limits and realise that we’re not good with children and animals!

So for the last week of the school holidays we visited Burswood Casino and treated the kids to a huge buffet lunch. You can eat as much as you like and after Sam’s fourth plate of pasta and lasagne, he reluctantly moved on to pudding – only to declare the savoury stuff much nicer and finish his meal with another slice of freshly cooked pizza! They had a pizza oven in the middle of the restaurant, so you can’t get much fresher than that! Darcie loved it too as they had a chocolate fountain in the middle of the restaurant! You got little wooden skewers that you could stick marshmallows on and then dunk them in the melted choc……..yum! Adam looked like we had held him by the legs and dunked HIM in the chocolate by the time he was finished – he is quite a messy eater! He’s also like Darcie and has a sweet tooth.The funniest thing was, as we came out of the restaurant, there was Santa Claus in full dress handing our sweets to the older people that had been there for the ‘Christmas in July’ celebrations! Darcie just ran towards Santa as fast as her legs would carry her! Santa smiled and posed for a photo and dished out the chocolates meant for the old folk to us! Paul joked however, that they were all the hard centres and we should check for denture marks before we ate them! I would love to show you the photo that I took of Darcie and FC, but I only had my mobile and don’t know how to download the pictures – doh! We also went to Kings Park so the kids could have a play for a while. It's beautiful there - over so many acres it's unreal and there are about 4 different kids parks - as well as a scary looking tree top walk that we haven't managed to persuade Paul to do yet!

Ooohhh, also had a very strange experience in a shop last week! Over here they offer something called a 'lay by' where you can get the store to keep the item for a few weeks/months whilst you pay for it in installments. Sometimes they charge you a few dollars for this service, but it's a good idea to start buying for birthdays - plus you don't have to worry about storing the stuff. Well, last week, Target had a HUGE toy sale and were offering free lay by until Christmas Eve. Well, we went in there at 10am on the day it started and it was like the opening ten minutes of the Harrods sale! It was complete bedlam! There were hundreds of hormonal women with shopping trolleys piled as high as they could get them with every possible toy imaginable - they were ALL doing their Christmas shopping - IN JULY! They must have taken a fortune that day and all the Mums left the store happy in the knowledge that they had broken the back of the Christmas shopping, could pay for it in installments between now and Xmas and collect it all on Christmas Eve if they wanted to. Mad? ........or a good idea? We bought a ten foot swimming pool with pump for less than £35!! That'll keep them cool in the summer (if I can be bothered to fill it up; although, yes - we don't pay for the water here, the landlord does, and he wouldn't let us have a dog in his poxy palace, so I may well fill one for the neighbours as well from our outside tap ;-)

Paul was very chilled out last week. Monday afternoon we even took the boat out when he should have been working! – although a bit of a hairy moment when his mobile rang with an important customer on the phone and he left Sam to almost steer us into a bridge! All adds to the fun, I guess! We saw more dol-chins. Perhaps they were looking after us, like the Mermaids used to try and lull to sailors onto the rocks, perhaps the dolphins were trying to save us from the bridge and tow us out of the way of the oncoming concrete!

We also managed to fit in a trip to Perth museum. Sam was desperate to show us where he went with school and it was a good day. It’s like the Natural History, but about 1/50th of the size. Sam’s favourite part was the ‘poo draw’ where you can see samples of different animal’s poo! Very informative. Although the Curator didn’t seem that keep on Sam’s offer to add a new exhibit to that particular draw! It would be even better if Adam did it – all the spiders would use one of their eight legs to pinch their nose; I don’t know what happens to Adam’s food whilst it’s being processed, but I tell you, it smells BAD!! There was lots at the museum about how life used to be for the first settlers and covered everything from aboriginals, wildlife, through to the three fences the length of Oz built to keep the rabbits out! (I kid you not!). It was an enjoyable few hours away from the rain, and the best bit was, you only had to make a donation to get in. Paul and I shoved some coins in the box; Darcie put in a sweet wrapper, Adam tried to shove a train in and Sam attempted to withdraw some money as if it were a cashpoint!

Paul having an 'off' day!

Call that a snake? THIS is a snake!

We still haven’t completely finished the paperwork for the house…… they keep forgetting to cost for things that we thought had all been resolved, but then turn up to bite us in the a**e. They did it as we chose the more expensive kitchen doors, but on our pre-start they forgot to cost for them; that was another $2500. Today they phoned to say they’d forgotten to cost for the upgraded cabinet doors in the kid’s bathroom! We’ve already signed everything off, and it’s like accepting a tender to have a job done, only for the contractor to say….’sorry mate – I know we quoted you to lay a patio, but we forgot to include the cost of the slabs in the price……’ Stupid! So needless to say, we are in dispute with the builders already! They are being reasonable though and the Contracts Manager was VERY embarrassed when we spoke to her this afternoon. We’ve put a lot of pressure on the builder to get the site though as we had to have permission from the Foreign Investment Review Board (FIRB) to purchase land in the first place as we are not permanent residents and as part of this grant, we had to start continuous building within the year. This didn’t happen and they gave us an extension until the end of August, but they must start building by this date…..tick, tock, tick, tock………. Mind you, they couldn’t do anything if they went to site at the moment with the weather being as pants as it is! No – I don’t want to hear about how lovely and hot it is in Blighty, thanks all the same.

I think that’s about all our news for now. The kids have done a week back at school now and are tired out, but happy. Darcie’s class assembly is on 16th August and they are rehearsing now (the theme is something to do with monkeys – very appropriate, I’d say!). Sam’s had his mate Chad over a couple of times this week and they jumped on their bikes and went to the deli, bought a bag of chips and met up with some girls from their class. How mature! God knows what he’ll be like at 9 – shaving, no doubt! Darcie’s got a little fan club going at school and everyone seems pleased to see her in the morning and a few of them compete to get her to sit next to them. She also has a bit of a love interest (well, rivalry actually), in the forms of Ashley and Sean. Both of them have proposed and Darcie is a bit spoilt for choice! Sean never stops; he’s like a little ‘Billy the Whizz’. I think I’d personally go for Ashley – I’d be exhausted trying to keep up with Sean after a week!!

Oh look, it's Mum and Dad.

Adam’s fine – talking more and more every day and he’s becoming a lot easier to understand. His new favourite saying is ‘YES SIR’. I ask him to get his socks; ‘Yes Sir’. ‘Adam, put your coat on!’ ‘Yes Sir’ ‘Adam, finish your breakfast.’ ‘Yes Sir’. I don’t know where he gets it from. Perhaps I’ll have to stop him watching ‘Soldier Soldier’ before bedtime. He’s pineing a bit for Sam and Darcie now they’re back at school and we do the register for them and their friend’s about 100 times a day. It goes like this…….

‘Mum? Where’s Darcie?’

‘At school darling’

‘Mum? Where’s Sam?’

‘He’s at school too’

‘Mum? Where’s Sean?’

‘At school.’‘

Mum? Where’s Amy?’

‘Ummm, at SCHOOL!’

‘Mum? Where’s Chuck?’ (Sam’s friend Chad – Adam can’t say his name, so it's a cross between Chad and Jack, hence Chuck!)

‘At school, honey’

‘Mum? Where’s Tick-la?’ (Sean’s sister Nicola)

‘FOR PETE’S SAKE ADAM – THEY ARE ALL AT SCHOOL. NOW BE QUIET!’

‘Yes Sir!’

Tries the patience of a saint, my son! Bye for now x

P.S I've organised a telephone number that you can dial from the UK which is just like a UK number and the calls are only 3p per minute. If anyone's interested in giving us a call, email me or post a comment on here and I'll let you have the number, Thanks!

Well, we are starting to get a little social life between us, you know and it’s rather nice! Last weekend we took a drive up into the Perth Hills. It’s very beautiful up there and the houses are large and sprawling. It reminded us of Tewin Wood. Apparently though it gets VERY hot in the summer there as they don’t benefit from the sea breeze that we get every afternoon. We came across a track with a car park and rest facilities and took some pictures of the kids at a view point. The view was fantastic and at points very similar to UK woodland. The best bit there was an open fire that you could build yourself with a hot plate over where you could heat your own coffee in a billy can, or cook eggs and bacon over a real fire. There was a family there that we got chatting to and they just take a saw with them, gather some wood, get the fire going and in no time at all, they’ve got coffee and lunch. It looked great fun and we’re definitely going back one day to try it for ourselves.

Delaney kids 'go bush'

They also had some very strange toilets! They were just like any other public toilets; in a little cubical, very clean. But when you looked down the toilet, there was no water and you could see down about 5 metres to all the ‘waste’ at the bottom! It was an environmental/biological toilet. Frightened the pants off of Darcie, who desperately needed a wee, but didn’t fancy falling down into the black hole of crap! I had to hang onto her for dear life (like in aeroplane toilets, when she is convinced she is going to be sucked from the aircraft with every noisy, super-suction flush!) while she watered the compost! They tell everyone that was the highlight of their day – the ‘funny’ toilet. It really didn’t smell though – very clever!

Adam and Darcie enjoy the view in a headlock

We also stopped off at a Vineyard and did a very small amount of wine tasting. We’d love to do it in the summer on a guided tour, where you just hop off and on the minibus that takes you round all the vineyards, getting more and more sloshed and poorer as you go. We bought a really lovely bottle of sparkly white from a local grower/fermenter/bottler for less than a tenner. Although I must admit you do feel pressurised to buy a little when it looks as though the lady manning the ‘shed’ hasn’t seen hide nor hair of another person for three weeks. What can you do? Have a slurp and then say ‘no thanks – not for me’. I don’t think I could stand the look of disappointment on her face. We weren’t however THAT bothered as we only bought the one bottle! Plus, you do feel a little begrudging as you can buy really great wine from the drive through bottle shop for about 4 quid! We can’t buy alcohol in the supermarkets. We have to go to a bottle shop, although you can just do a drive through where you wind down you car window, slur at them what you want, pop the boot and copious amounts of booze are then shoved into the car to be transported home. Good idea, but less hassle just to pop a bottle into your trolley whilst at the supermarket.

This week it’s been the first week of the school hols and on Monday I took the kids to a shopping centre as recommended by a friend. How fab! It was like a proper shopping centre! If you squinted and spun round a bit, it could almost have been the Harlequin in Watford, or part of Milton Keynes! It was great and the kids enjoyed spending some of the holiday money that Nanny B had sent them over for being good and working so hard during the term. Sam bought and devoured a foot long roll from Subway. He ordered it all himself and the guy behind the counter was chatting away. He said to Sam, ‘is this all for you mate, you’ll never manage all this’. Quick as a flash, Sam’s index finger shot up into the air (the same way my Dad used to try and grab a waiter’s attention ‘…….I say……..’) and said to all the people behind the counter, ‘you obviously don’t know me very well, do you?’ Err, no. How could they? They work at Subway and have never met you before and therefore could have no inclination that you are a champion muncher who could give Mr Greedy a run for his money! For the record, Sam ate his foot long meatball sub with extra sauce (and FWIW said he was still a little hungry and could have eaten seconds!)

Adam is now completely obsessed by Bob the Builder characters, so his money went on Scoop, Muck, Roley and Lofty! He takes them everywhere with him……along with Thomas, Henry, Percy et al! He’s going to need one of those shopping bags on wheels soon, just to carry all his essentials round with him when he goes out! He’s such a little old man! He’s really chatty now though and really competes with the older kids. We play a game in the car where we ask questions and have to ‘buzz’ in with our own buzzer sound when you know the answer - kind of like 'Ask the Family' for a dysfunctional family! Today, Adam buzzed in! He didn’t have the answer, but made something up, or repeated Darcie’s last answer, but he knew to buzz in at the right time! Whenever Sam goes to do something now, Adam shouts out ‘ME TOO!’ He’s very funny.

Adam and his mates!

Tuesday was a quiet day and the weather was a bit pants and Paul had to go into Perth, so we just bummed around the house and watched some DVDs.

Wednesday there was a little get together for the kids in Darcie’s class at a local park. The kids all took bikes and scooters and they had a little picnic whilst the Mums had a chance to natter, it was fun, if somewhat cold.

Thursday we went to a local wildlife park with Darcie’s best mate Amy and some friends. The kids loved it. There were lots of beautiful parrots and other animals they could get very close to. There was a fab park there too which I think the kids spent almost as long on. Darcie went back to play at Amy’s and ended up sleeping the night – her second sleepover!!! I handled it a lot better this time. I found it was better if I didn’t look in her room and see her little empty bed – that really upset me last time! Paul took the opportunity to do something fun with the ‘boys’, so they did home-made pizzas – yummy!

Friday morning I went for coffee and cake with a nutty mate round the corner. She’s off ‘down south’ on holiday for a week with her family next week to visit the Albany Whaling Station. Boy, she’s so excited - NOT! I asked her to bring me back something in ‘keeping’, so I’ll probably get a bar of Blubber soap or a take away Whale Blubber soup. Yum, can't wait for that one! Sam had a friend in and out to play in the afternoon and then we went off to another friends for drinkies in the evening. They are over on the same visa and have bought a BEAUTIFUL house in the northern suburbs. The kids were fantastic and played brilliantly all evening (Addy didn’t give up until he fell into the car at 11.30pm and he was still really happy and full of beans!). It was a little disheartening for us as they have bought a gorgeous house and are already settled, whereas we are going through the stress of building and won’t have a ‘home’ for at least 18 months, but it’ll all be worth it in the end. We made our decision to buy land and build and I’m sure it’ll work out for us. There were three other families there too all on the same types of visa, so we swapped stories and tales of woe and had a laugh and let our hair down. It was just what the doctor ordered and was great. Nicola and I spent most of the evening trying to persuade Paul to let us have a dog! Nicola was doing a really great job and I thought we were making headway, until Paul woke up this morning with his ‘Practical’ head back on (he’s a bit like Worzel Gummidge – changes his head with the weather!).

Darcie sporting mascara and earrings for a night out - whatever next?

We went out today to look at bedroom suites. We want to get something nice to go in our room where the kids can't wreck it and cover it in chocolate Tim Tam. We saw some really lovely ones, but had an indecisive moment and didn’t buy anything. Paul and Sam stopped off in a music shop and Sam asked about a guitar (that’s number one on his birthday list at the moment; electric guitar and amp!). The guy in the shop gave Sam a ‘Darkness’ poster and he’s rushed home and blue-tacked it to his wall. I ask you – 8 years old and music posters on his wall already (and 'rock' bands as well!! I'm sure Darcie is going to be one of his 'rock chick groupies' too as she came home from Amy's with felt-tip 'tattoos' all over her back and arms and is already pestering to have her ears pierced - as long as that's all she's getting pierced, thank you! She kept on and on at Paul about having her ears pierced and kept questioning me as to whether or not it would hurt! I said yes, it does hurt, but not for long. Eventually Paul was worn down and said 'come on them, in the car now. Let's go and get your ears pierced. Darcie winced and decided to wait until she's more mature - six, she said..... at least :-) Sam’s already informed me that if I don’t let him have a guitar and lessons, I’m ‘hampering his career prospects’ (I kid you not – he used those words!), as he is destined to be a rock star. Failing that, he’ll be (in order), an F1 driver, Premiership footballer or a builder. He asked me if I thought he’d achieve any of those………. I said absolutely (luckily he didn’t ask which one I thought!) How much would Adam love him though if he became the latter? Can he fix it? Yes he can!!

We had a BBQ tonight in the dark (again, adds to the adventure). It was lovely and we ate together and the kids watched a nice film on the TV. I installed the kids electric blankets that we bought for them from 'The Good Guys' - an electrical retailer where you pay less when you pay cash. Also had to buy a new washing machine as my one decided that it enjoyed it's trip in the container - quite liked the sun on it's back in the laundry for a few months, but has now decided Australia isn't for him, thanks very much! So glad I bothered bringing it halfway across the bloody world to break down!!! Mind you, with all his health issues, the washing machine's probably been watching Paul and sees this as 'normal' :-) :-)

We haven’t got as much excitement planned for next week, but Sam wants us all to go to the museum and I’m sure we’ll have a few days out. Oh, P.S if you have a look at the 'Links' to the right hand side and click on 'our Photo Album' I will be updating the pictures there rather than posting individual ones on here. There is a monthly limit on what I can upload, so keep checking back for more pictures of sunny weather (we hope!).

I’m warning you now; this entry is in total praise of my children….. I don’t normally praise them up too much – it makes them too easy a target to get criticised by others, and I’m the first to acknowledge their short-comings. They are not MENSA kids and heaven knows they are cheekier than most - however I am so proud of them this week, I just have to mention it.

This week was their last week of term and they received their school reports. Sam’s is great, with every aspect saying he ‘consistently applies effort’; the highest of the achievement level’s available. His teacher wrote at the bottom of his report ‘As Sam has not only had a change of school, but also country, he seems to have coped extremely well. He has settled into his class work and friendship groups easily and is always one of the first to be organised between lessons. Fantastic effort, Sam!’ I am just so pleased that his teacher has acknowledged what a huge upheaval he has experienced and coped so brilliantly.

And to top that, on Wednesday in assembly, Sam received a Merit Certificate! He had to go up in front of the whole assembly and get presented with his certificate and shake hands with the Principal. He got the award for joining in consistently and his ‘fantastic listening skills’. WooHoo!

And, not to be left out, Darcie also got her report this week. Hers was fab as well and her teacher commented; ‘Darcie has settled quickly into the pre-primary routine and socialises well with her peers. She is a well mannered student who completes her work quickly, quietly and neatly. Darcie always enjoys spending time in the home corner and writing table. Fantastic start to the year, Darcie!’

See? I think I have a right to be slightly boastful this week. When you think that the kids have left a school that they loved and left all their friends and family behind, yet have taken to Secret Harbour Primary like they have never been anywhere else! They really love school. Sam today declared he had the best day that he’d ever had at school. His teacher brought her 14 year old son in with her and he interacted with all the kids and Sam now has learnt to compile his own powerpoint presentations. I’m not even going to guess what he’ll be doing next – probably our VAT returns, they’re all greek to me!

Darcie in full 'clown' mode

To celebrate the end of term, the school held another ‘sausage sizzle’ and the kids enjoyed that. Pre-primary also held a clown day where all the students (and the teachers :-) dressed up in clown outfits and played games and had party food. Darcie was SO excited and she had the best day! Here are a few pictures of Darcie in her outfit and the papier mache clown that she crafted (Mum – NO comments about the nose, please!). They’ve had such a good week, but they are really ready for a few weeks off. We’ve got a few things planned; Sam wants to go back to the Perth Museum, we’ve got a zoo trip planned with Darcie’s best mate, Amy and we’ll probably do the pictures and nice lunches. Some of the parents are getting together for a picnic every Wednesday, so that will be nice to break the week up for them. The weather’s still nice (low to mid 20’s during the day) although it is forecast to rain in the early part of next week – typical, school holiday weather!

Close up of Miss Pie-Flinger

Mr Clown - all Darcie's own work; just don't mention the nose!!

Adam is continuing to make progress with his potty training (if somewhat slowly!). He has become fixated with Bob the Builder toys and when I presented him with a scale model of Scoop (or Doop as he calls him…) I thought he was going to blast into the atmosphere with glee! Mum sent the kids some pocket money for doing so well at school and Adam immediately reeled off the list of remaining Bob characters that he was going to treat himself to. Sam immediately told Darcie what they could buy if they clubbed their money together – strangely enough, it consisted of things on his birthday list – hum!

Everything else is pootling along nicely. We are making friends and starting to know who to avoid ;-) Business is coming together slowly and the phones are starting to get a little busier. We have loads of quotes out there – particularly for Navman, so it only takes a few of those to drop in and the pressure will have eased a little. Paul has been really chilled this week which has been lovely – don’t know how chilled he’ll be over the next fortnight with the kids off school? Hopefully I have persuaded him that we need to chill out a little bit before the business really kicks in as six months down the line, we’ll probably look back, wonder why we were so stressed about everything, and wonder why we didn’t enjoy a ‘break’ while we had a chance. It just feels like we are on the cusp of something…… fingers crossed. It can’t be through bloody lack of trying, that’s for sure!

I had a fab coffee with a mate in Mandurah this week. We were sat in the café with Mr Cheese, (we had a window seat and could look out over the marina), when all of a sudden, Adam shouted out ‘DOLCHINS’. Everyone in the café turned to look at Adam who had spotted two dolphins in the water. A bit different to the view from Costa’s window over town, I suppose :-) Everyone in the café was laughing at Adam because he was so excited. Good eyesight though! We then took a takeaway coffee over the park and Adam had a play on the swings for a while whilst we swapped notes about husbands and kids. Always good fun and we’re never short of material.

Addy and Darcie on the 'bouncy bouncy' (as Adam calls it) in the Yard.

The golf club where we used to go for a BBQ on a Friday night are now offering roast dinners for $10! That should be good fun and seeing how crap our oven is, we'll let someone else do all the donkey work, I think. We'll try it out and report back! We're going to see if we can grab a few days away over the school break. I managed to get some of Paul's medical treatment costs back from Medicare; it's money we thought had been spent/gone for ever, so we might enjoy spending it again and having a few days in a hotel or something. Paul suggested taking the kids to Kalgoorlie - the biggest mining city in WA (and Australia), until I googled it and discovered it was a 7 hour drive! 7 hours of screaming, punching, kicking and 'are we there yet's??' (and that's only me and Paul!), I don't think so, so I'll be looking for something closer to home - like New Zealand ha ha ha!

Bye for now guys - keep in touch!

They’re dropping like flies!

Just to inform you all that Darcie lost her second tooth today. It was hanging on for dear life when she came out of school, then one bite of a chocolate Tim Tam and it was gone forever! (OH MY GOD - how lovely are chocolate Tim Tams??? They are like Penguins, but more honeycombey - absolutely delish!).

She was desperate for me to tell her friends and put a picture on the blog, so here it is:


I apologise for my dreadful attempt at face painting! Darcie has a ‘clown day’ at school on Friday and I got some face paints today that she insisted on trying out immediately. She wanted to be a butterfly, but would only let me use black, orange and red – yum!

Finally, here are two photos I took on Sunday when we went to the beach - not bad weather for the middle of Winter, although there was lots of seaweed been washed up onto the beach.

We can't afford sun hats - OK?? And what do you mean it's those knees that jinxed our World Cup Campaign?

One day.... I'm going to get all of that water into my little bucket. You just see!

Blurred happiness wearing 'Nanny's Nana' that Sam used to wear.

Adam concentrates on the playstation

Can you see the bags under our eyes?

Bloody football!!! It’s great that England are doing so well (ah-hem…..), but give us a break – 11pm kick offs are the earliest! Heaven forbid we get to extra time and penalties – we’ll need to buy matchsticks in industrial quantities. I would just like to put it on the record now that the Socceroos woz robbed! Thank you, I have said it, I shall now move on…..

It’s been a busy few weeks again. I don’t know where the weeks disappear to! This week, Sam has a school trip into Perth. He is VERY excited. I however, have to compete with Mum’s trip to M&S and a bill of £30 to provide a ‘special’ packed lunch for him whenever he went on a day trip with Templewood. I’m gonna have trouble with that one! I might do him a hard boiled egg and tell him to be grateful after his antics last week!

On Friday, Sam informed me it was his ‘news’ day at school, but as he didn’t have any news exciting enough, he made up an elaborate story about Darcie falling off the trampoline and breaking her leg! ‘My whole class feel really sorry for you, Darcie’ he told her! I didn’t think much of it as Sam constantly has a pimple on his tongue from little white lies! On Saturday, we were having a girls night out and one of the Mums phoned me to see if I was still going as she didn’t realise Darcie has broken her leg!! Part of me was disgusted that he would make up such a nasty story as he didn’t have any news, and the other half was proud for his ability to think on his feet! Anyhow, at the time of this phonecall, Sam was at the skate park. I’d given him my mobile just in case I needed to call him home - he rang ME about five times!! – so the next time he phoned, Paul asked him what the Darcie/leg story was all about? Quick as a flash, Sam replied ’ah, yes…… about that……. Gotta go – sorry, bye!!’ How cheeky can you get?? Saturday Sam spent the whole day in and out of the house with friends, down to the skate park, over to the shop, into his mate’s houses….. it was a real Piccadilly circus.

I had a fab night out with some girl friends on Saturday night. We went into Mandurah, had a bottle of wine in a bar and then on to dinner in a nice restaurant. We had a real giggle and it was lovely to let our hair down and enjoy ourselves.

Sunday we braved the local pool and took the kids swimming. It’s quite cool there – they have a water slide, a beach section, lots of bubbles and one of those river things that takes you along in a current. For all of us to swim and Paul to have a sauna cost less than £7. Sam tried the water slide out, and asked the lifeguard how old you had to be to ride. He said that you had to be six – ‘no problem’, pipes up Darcie ‘I’ll just lie and tell him I’m six already!’ are you noticing a theme with my children? Darcie tried it and declared it to be ‘awesome’.

Today I helped out in Darcie’s class at school. I picked a good day as they had a travelling music group and had to do 'stuff all' other than sit on my bum and listen to four people play more instruments than I have ever seen in my life! It was excellent and the kids really enjoyed it. They sat still brilliantly for such young kids and then joined in with so much enthusiasm when they were asked. It was lovely to watch.

One thing’s for sure, we’re all looking forward to Christmas. That’s ‘Christmas in July!’ It’s a big thing here as July is the middle of winter and the closest I suppose we can come to a traditional cold UK Christmas. They have office parties, Christmas dinner/dances in restaurants and decorations. Should be interesting! I’ll keep you posted on that one. There’s even a local nature reserve which offers the following:

Santas Bibbulmun Vacation:
For the young and young at heart! An easy 5km return stroll to meet Santa and friends on holiday from the North Pole at a Bibbulmun Track timber shelter! Enjoy a BYO picnic while listening to Santas stories. Then experience a magical return by torch light following the reflective Waugal trail markers. Location advised after booking. 1 hr from Perth. Ages 3yrs and up. Includes small gift for children. Max 2 adults per child. Max 2 children per adult. Suitable for robust pushchairs.
How cool does that sound! Fancy bumping into Santa on his holidays!! Just a bugger that it’s full already for this year. I’ll have to try and remember to book it for next year – it won’t be the same in December in 40 degree heat and legions of flies.
Adam’s potty training is going from bad to worse. I’m thinking of enrolling him in puppy training classes instead. He’s a nightmare! Knows exactly what to do, just refuses to do it! He’s got a terrible habit of sleeping with his hand down the front of his nappy. No word of a lie, I got him out of bed the other morning and his hand was white and wrinkled like he’d spent all night in the bath! Nice, eh?
Stop Press: Adam has actually used his potty twice today – once as a hat and the other as a step….. only joking! HE DID IT!! We have to ‘high five’ after the event, have a huge self-congratulatory back slapping session and then do the whole ‘bye-bye wee wee’ routine where we smile, wave and wish it well on it’s travels. The joys of parenthood, eh? Not to mention the fact the he goes round all day with no pants on (one thing at a time – he can’t get to the potty AND remember to pull his pants down too), winking at us when he bends over!

We have reached a milestone within our emigration journey. Last week, Paul got a speeding ticket. To be honest, we are surprised that we’ve gone this far without one as they are really hot on it here with mobile speed cameras hidden in bushes, with Police officers that just jump out at you and blind you with a flash so bright, it’s like a shooting star two inches from your nose. I wouldn’t mind but:

(a) they tell you on the TV news the night before where the speed cameras are going to be located,

(b) I had literally 30 seconds before the flash told Paul to slow down as it was a common spot for speed cameras and then (probably MOST annoyingly),

(c) Paul did the same bloody thing two days later and another one flashed in his face at Mach 4!

He did think about contesting it using the Navman software, but thought better of it as the download showed him breaking the speed limit several more times and at a slightly faster speed than he was caught at during the same journey. It’s a huge revenue generator for the government and they will send a ticket for 3kms over the speed limit. Driving whilst drunk (or certainly over the limit) is acceptable though and most Aussies consider it to be perfectly normal!! They have a warped sense of danger when you consider that the average speed limit on a freeway is 80kph which equates to 49 miles per hour!! If and when we ever return to the UK on holiday a trip on the motorway will make me feel like Penelope Pitstop zooming along at breakneck speed (the kids are obviously the Anthill Mob – eh,eh,eh we’re all gonna die………). I’ll feel like bloody Michael Shumacher at speeds of 70MPH! I don’t think I’ll be able to handle the speed after so long of driving at a snails pace.

Just something quick that make me laugh this week..... I'd put Adam to bed and he was crying his eyes out (as ususal - he likes to enter his sleep-state through cried-out exhaustion!). I said to him 'for heaven's sake Adam, stop screaming! The neighbours will think I'm murdering you!!' Five minutes later, a very upset Miss Parcel appears in the doorway. After much coaxing, I get her to tell me what's wrong..... 'well, you just said that if Adam doesn't stop crying, the neighbours are going to come from next door and murder him!' Isn't life strange in a 5 year old's head? It's a scary place in there, and I wouldn't like to enter without a rope being tied round my middle - just in case I got caught up in her vivid imagination and was stuck there forever - and I'm NEVER playing chinese whispers with her either!

On that note I'm off to crawl to the kitchen for another G&T. Take care all xxXXxx

P.S. Would just like to say get well soon to Julia's Aunty Joyce and Paul's Aunty Mary who are both in hospital at the moment. Love to both and we hope you get better very, very soon xxXXxx

Come on the ‘Socceroos!!’ (and England too!).

Another busy couple of weeks on Planet Delaney. Last weekend we had a BBQ for England’s first match of the world cup. It was ‘live’ on the TV at 9pm which felt a little strange, but we wrapped up and had a few friends over and toasted England’s success (even if it was by default!). We did really well and managed to keep everyone awake until midnight – unheard of in Australia! Everyone likes to be tucked up in bed by 10pm, but you don’t want to know what obscene time they are up in the mornings! It was a giggle, plus the extra body heat kept the house a bit warmer.

I also took the kids and two friends to the cinema to watch ‘Cars’. It was a good film and the kids enjoyed it, although we were so high up on the back row of the cinema, I’m surprised oxygen masks didn’t fall down half way through the film. Three trips to the toilet each was quite reserved, too, don’t you think – NOT! It was strange though, being on the back row of the pictures on my Wedding Anniversary…….. with four children under 8! I can’t believe we’ve been married 11 years now. Doesn’t time fly? So much has happened in those 11 years! What will we be like on our silver anniversary, I wonder? Where will we be then? God, Sam will be 23!! Doesn’t bear thinking about really, it’s just too scary. Although I think he’s heading there fast. He won’t leave the house for school now without hair gel and Darcie came into my room on Saturday, ready for the pictures with blue eyeshadow smeared all over her face from the nostrils upwards like an accident prone lolita! She was dressed in her Snow White outfit – I think she thought she was attending the premiere, not a Saturday afternoon showing in a sleepy backwater!



The kids also had a sleepover on Friday – by this, they mean they all ‘slept over’ in Adam’s room. Darcie and Sam de-camped with duvets and pillows onto the floor in Adam’s room. Adam, however is NOT daft and crept into our bedroom about ten minutes after the others fell asleep! He obviously decided he didn’t fancy sleeping on the floor like a rug! They enjoyed themselves though and must have watched non-stop videos for three hours before they finally nodded off. They are just gutted that Adam has got the little TV in his room now. One of the kids that came over on Saturday was amazed that Adam knows how to turn the TV on, insert a video and play/rewind and fast forward as and when required. He often disappears into his room to watch the Tweenies and then when I go and check on him, he’s watching Thomas! I think I should set up another string to our visa-bow and set up a video programming business – I can send Addy round to help all the old folk in the area who can’t set the timer to record on their videos, or try and play a DVD in their microwave.

Adam was a little git today and was watching the Tigger Movie in his room. He was really quiet (for a change) and really enjoying the film, and when I went to check on him for the third time, he’d whipped his nappy off and made his own little ‘pooh’ on the carpet! Charming! It doesn’t help that the kids encourage him to get ‘nudie’ at every possible opportunity! He knew what he was doing as he’d even moved his bloody potty so he could crap whilst having a better view of the telly!

Darcie had an eventful week at school and got sent home early on Monday after she was accidentally whacked in the eye with a tennis racket by her best mate! So much for taking her to the pictures – is that the thanks we get? Tee hee! We all thought she was going to be left with a huge shiner, but luckily it hasn’t gone black – just a fetching shade of purple. It was quite appropriate as today the school was visited by a hospital familiarisation group who travel around getting kids used to hospitals just in case they ever need treatment. I had visions of picking Darcie up looking like Pudsey bear with a huge eye bandage!

We got our final costings through for the ‘additionals’ on the house today. Not too bad – a few things that we cut out that were a bit extortionate, but on the whole OK. Once we get the form signed and returned, hopefully it should be ‘all systems go’ and they should be on site by August. We have our building license sitting in our file ready, and the services have all been applied for, so come on – let’s get the damn thing built, shall we?? I shall visit the site every day with sandwiches and a thermos flask (the time of year will dictate the contents: August – November = hot soup, December - Feburary = iced tea, March – May = Pimms, June – August = neat vodka!) and make a nuisance of myself, so that the tradesmen will just want to get the house built to get rid of me. I shall devote my life into becoming their stalker – watching every brick being laid, examining every ‘noggin’. Ah, yes, I shall be a nightmare!

On a final note, the kids had their assembly today and we had to stop whilst the Deputy Principal ushered a sea gull out of the assembly hall much to Adam’s delight. All through the school song he shouted ‘sea dull’ and then wandered off behind the bird like a little Forrest Gump in a huge winter coat two sizes too big for him......... life is like a box of chocolates.......... and we've got all the hard centres at the moment!

Hello Blog fans.

Welcome to the upside down world of the Delaneys. It’s been an exciting couple of weeks since the last update – some good / some not so good! I have finally realised what Mum said all along is SO true; ‘you can choose your friends, but not your family’. Thanks to some pretty shitty emails from the UK, I now know who falls into both categories and have been upset by all the cattiness to be honest. I just think that people’s jealousy rears it’s head in some very strange ways.

I did think about not continuing with the blog as their attitude got to me so much – but this is for our benefit as much as the people who read it, and I enjoy looking at the old entries and seeing how much we’ve done - so 'knickers!' to them and I shall carry on…..

We’ve now ‘done’ the pre-start on the house. We’ve chosen colours and themes and roofing and guttering and block paving and …… the list seems endless! We’re just waiting for the list of updated costs for our extras to come through (should be the end of this week), and then we’ll have to sit down with a red marker pen and decide what things are reasonable in the price department, and what costs are ridiculous and need to be taken out. Paul ended up going to the electrical pre-start on his own as Adam and I were ill – and managed to spend $7,000 extra (love you!!) on electrical sockets, Foxtel/TV points and lighting. I dread to think how much the ‘proper’ pre-start extras list will be. We’ll just have to be ruthless and ask ourselves what’s needed and what’s completely OTT (like Paul’s outdoor projector and screen complete with surround sound and fold away screen! – of course, my spa bath is an absolute necessity! Do you know I haven’t had a bath since Easter when we were in Sydney. Our bath here is fun size – you can either wash your ears or your toes – not both at the same time). We still keep driving past the lot of land. I don’t know what we expect – probably that we drive past one day and the house has just appeared as if by magic! Perhaps we should plant some bricks and see if a house grows – just like Jack and his magic beans.

Last weekend we took the kids to a ‘Day out with Thomas the Tank Engine’ at Whiteman Park. How funny was that! Apart from the fact that I had a stinking headache and we had to leave early when I threw up in the car, the trains just had faces painted on them. Even Adam wasn’t fooled! We kept saying ‘look! There’s Thomas!’ and he would swivel round – look straight at the train, then look back at us like we were mad!!

Sam has been poorly again, he then passed it on to Adam, who passed it on to me. Paul is constantly bunged up with his nose problems anyway, so it goes without saying that Paul is feeling rough. Darcie still continues to defy medical science with her ability to stay ‘well’. I’m convinced it’s because her bedroom is such a pig sty – she must be subjected to so many strains of e-coli (due to the mouldy sweets under her bed) and MRSA (if it’s the flesh-eating type, it can come and gnaw a couple of kilos off of my legs) due to the pong from her socks, she is proving impervious to the bugs and lurgies. It’s as if we’ve bred our own super-human cast iron daughter – like a pink Dolly the Sheep.

Paul today phoned the GP surgery to make an appointment for the results of his stress test and 24 hour heart monitor. It was like a scene from Fawlty Towers when he rang. The nurse was ‘covering’ reception and Paul only asked if the results were in and could he make an appointment, when the nurse preceeded to tell him all the results of the tests and give him her diagnosis. She then said ‘it’s up to you if you want an appointment, it says here there’s no follow-up required’. Great, says Paul – what about the medication I’m on – it’s quite strong, I think it would be for the best if I came in to see a Doctor. ‘If you reckon’ came the reply. It was such a farse! You could imagine the whole diagnosis made by this nurse on the phone, only for her to realise that she’s been holding the bloody notes upside down, and it’s not an ingrowing toenail, but a brain tumor!! Needless to say, Paul has a Dr’s appointment booked for Thursday. We’ll see how that goes, shall we?

Darcie had an exciting weekend with her first ever sleep over! She loved it – I was a wreck! I just couldn’t settle all night. I wanted to phone on the hour, every hour, but Paul persuaded me not to. It just seemed so weird when I tucked the boys in that night and Darcie’s bed was empty – like there was part of me missing. I didn’t like it at all! Paul kept looking at his watch, saying ‘d’you know, that girl still isn’t home! She’s going to be in such trouble in the morning……’ I sat there all night with my arm at right angles to my body – Paul wondered what on earth I was doing, but I just explained that there was no chick under my wing! I had a partially empty nest. I don’t know how I’m going to cope when they’re out clubbing or (even worse) start driving. I might as well start the sleeping tablets now……. At least Sam’s love match has cooled off a little, so I’ll still have the boys at home (practising their trolley action and mincing along with tea and coffee) for a good few years, I hope.

I don’t think I’ve shown you much of Secret Harbour, have I? I’ll start now introducing you to the neighbourhood and posting some piccies of our ‘house’. The shopping centre is coming on really well – it’s due to be open for Christmas trading, and the Senior school is well under way too. Our new house will be sandwiched between the new primary and secondary schools – ideal for the kids, although not so well planned when we have 10 kids round at ours for lunch and they eat us out of house and home. So far, Secret Harbour has a chemist, gym, community centre, two primary schools, a Doctor’s surgery, bakery, two estate agents, a golf course, two cafes and a deli. A surf club, too many play parks to mention (we are finding new ones to visit after school all the time) and loads of cycle / running paths. Under construction are the new shopping centre (which will house a big Woolworths – amongst other stores), a senior school and a multi-million dollar sports centre. There is also a train line connecting Perth to Mandurah which will mean we can get to the city in under 40 minutes and they are extending the freeway and moving it further away from the coast road, so Secret Harbour will be even more lovely. There is also talk of a petrol station, but things are still subject to change with the Developers. Here’s the link to Satterleys (the developers) www.satterley.com.au/go/residential-estates/secret-harbour and the Secret Harbour Whisper www.secretharbourwhisper.com.au/ (like the Residents Association). You can also read the kid’s school newsletters, www.shps.edwa.net.au/newsletter/newsletter.htm

This was our piece of land when we bought it on our 'reccie' in February 2005.

And this is what it looks like now! The two houses you can see will be our neighbours! Our house will have to fit on that corner block in between!

This is the view of the shopping centre going up as taken from Secret Harbour Boulevard.

And this is the new Senior school - looks even better since this photo was taken!

I hope you all enjoyed your Bank Holiday and the kids are enjoying their half term. We’ve got a Bank Holiday next weekend (for a change) for Foundation Day. Don’t know what that’s all about, but the weather’s due to be nice, so who cares, we can take the boat out. The kids have still got another six weeks to go before they get another break from school – we’ve only done four since they went back after Easter! They are still loving school and Adam is settling at day care (somewhat begrudgingly!). The weather is starting to turn and last week we had our first storms of the season (actually there was a mini-tornado about 10kms up the road from us!). It’s supposed to rain for ten days solidly according to the weather forecast for late next week. I might have to live on the boat. As least I’d be safe if we had a flood – although I couldn’t steer the damn thing to get anywhere, I’m usually too busy being strangled by Adam to be allowed to drive!

Take care until the next update.

The Eagle has landed!!!

After a week of teetering on the edge, industrial wobbling and lots of apple crunching – Darcie’s first tooth has bitten the dust. To say she’s excited is a bit of an understatement, and now she’s forcing herself to stay awake so that she can feel how soft the tooth fairy’s wings are! Daft moo!

The hole does look like the size of the Grand Canyon, but I’m sure it will look a lot better tomorrow. I’m relieved. I was starting to think that she was super-gluing it back in before she went to bed at night. Sam’s sleeping with his head under the pillow to see if he wakes up toothless but with a wad of cash – I might do the same, but I’m hoping for a scale and polish :-) have you seen how expensive a trip to the Dentist is over here???

Adam’s had a haircut today and he looks about 12! What is it that makes kids look older, just by having their curls cut off? Here’s a picture of him on the sofa watching Kipper that he demands in a 20 decibel scream. Kipper is his favourite at the moment and I must admit, I love the catchy theme tune! Thomas is 'past' favourite – it is already in the Hall of Fame and goes without saying! He also likes the Tweenies. I’ve had to play him videos, as the Tweenies is about the only kids programme the BBC doesn’t export. We get Noddy, Balamory and Bob, but no Tweenies. I’ll have to open some boxes and get him some more videos out as even he must be getting fed up with ‘Gonna build a house’ by the 2ooth airing! We get The Wiggles and Hi5 a lot on the TV, but I just can’t help thinking how weird four grown men in coloured sweaters are. They should be sitting in a pub talking about footie, not doing stupid dances and singing about warm vegetables (Hot Potato is one of their 'classics'). They all go out in a boat together, on pirate ships together and perform high kicks whilst playing the piano. They all look fresh from a social services register if you ask me, and as for the Hi5 bunch – no one can be THAT happy all the time. They must all be on Prozac mixed with Vimto, I think.

Before you report me to Social Services, the mark by his eye is where he fell off the bed - yes, our 2 year old son has a carpet burn! Although he's lucky - with our naff carpet, if he'd have got any speed up and there had been a spark, the whole house would have gone up - not that it's cheap, nylon carpet or anything! Adam woke crying one night and came into our room, only to wriggle off the bed at 4am and make the mark by his eye. He now takes great pride in his war wound and points to it, telling people 'bed' and looking very sorry for himself. Aahhh, poor lambkin.

What else can I tell you about…… not a lot exciting I’m afraid. We’re making lots of enquiries about the house build, so that’s keeping us busy and we’ve had lots of business enquiries this week, which is fabby. Sam’s booked in for a soccer course that starts on Friday. Some of his mates are going, so he’s chuffed. Darcie’s class are having a Mother’s Day (which is Sunday in WA) art display on Friday with coffee and biscuits which will be nice. They have decorated the window of the classroom with painted hearts – they’ve done one each – and Darcie says they’ve been working hard on surprises that she can’t possibly tell me about…..unless I forget straight after :-)

Just a short update as I just wanted to post the pictures really. Oh, and before I sign off

Happy Birthday Ben and Beth

.......and

Happy Birthday Nanny D for Friday

Hello my little possums. How are we all? One at a time please……. that’s better. In answer: J: the cream will clear that up. F: never mind, there’s always next time and S: well what to you expect if you do it twice a night! Any more problems, feel free to email me – the Doctor is always IN J

This week has gone by in a blur yet again. If we moved to OZ for a quiet life, we woz robbed and want our money back as so far, it ain’t happening! Sam and Darcie went back to school on Tuesday and Adam went into daycare. He cried (as was to be expected). I don’t know if it was through missing me, or his mates of the train variety…. He can now tell you which train is which, by name. His favourite is Toby, but he also knows Thomas, Gordon, Percy, Henry and James by sight and squeals with delight when Thomas comes on the TV. They’ve got a ‘Day out with Thomas’ at a local train line in May and we’re taking Addy along. I think he may burst a blood vessel with excitement though, so he will have to be closely monitored throughout the day. If his excitement level exceeds fever pitch, I may need to sit him in a quiet place with a drink and a brown paper bag to breathe into, just to get his thrill levels down to a manageable state. He upset Sam last week when his Hornby magazine arrived by grabbing it from him and carrying it round the house – showing everyone and anyone who’d look the ‘twains’. Sam wasn’t impressed. He always likes the ‘send us a picture of your model railway’ page and was less than chuffed when he realised Adam had folded the pages. He likes to keep his back issues pristine! OCD in the making if ever there was!

Darcie went to play with her NBF (new best friend) Amy after school and they have plotted sleep overs and days out together at the weekend. Resistance is futile, they are like the Gestapo. They wear you down. Sooner or later, we will give in to them for a quiet life. This they know. It is our weakness. They work like this: It is 9pm. We are sat in front of the TV with a glass of wine zombie-like with exhaustion after the 20th time of putting them to bed. They creep up to us whilst we are engrossed in ‘Dancing with the Stars’ (which I don’t know why we watch anyway, because we can’t tell who’s the star and who’s the ‘professional’ dancer!), and whisper in a voice so quiet that it can only be heard with a laboratory strength microphone ‘is it OK if my friend comes for a sleep over on Saturday’. You naturally grunt ‘whatever – just PLEASE go to bed!’ which then they see as victory as you didn’t say no! I don’t know who teaches them this technique. I blame Tony Blair As this is probably the tactic he uses to get his policies through Parliament.

Sam has a NBF also (of the female persuasion!). He has been round to her house, got me to speak with her Mum on the phone and he has invited her round on Sunday to ‘play’. They are SO grown up and sensible, it’s fab. Sam came home with her phone number from school, phoned her up and she invited him round to hers. The next day, she phoned here and that’s when they arranged to meet up on Sunday. I won’t say too much as Sam will get embarrassed. Of course, Paul and I didn’t help this by pinning him down and singing ‘Puppy Love’ to him four times in a row. I was up until midnight yesterday, sorting out all of his embarrassing naked baby photos to show her when she comes over. I’ll teach you for embarrassing me in Tesco’s for all those years mate!!

Sunday update: Sam woke me with coffee and toast this morning and asked when he could phone his friend. I said that seeing as it was Sunday, he should probably wait until at least eleven. He said OK and then set the oven timer for an hour, so he’d know when it was time to phone!! Sam rang her and she said she’d come over at 12 – then Sam panicked that he didn’t give her our address! I’ll give her til 1, then I’ll phone her back; just in case. As it was, she phoned at 12.45 to say could Sam come and get her as she didn’t know which house we lived in. Before you could say ’no worries’, Sam had his bike out of the garage, cycle helmet on and was racing round the corner. They had a good time and went to the shops to get some lollies (sweets). They went out on their bikes, and when it was time for her to go home at 4, Sam rode home with her. Don’t you think that’s just SSSOOO grown up – for 8 year olds! I’m very proud of him. He’s told her Mum and Dad to come over and meet us for a glass of wine next weekend and he’s looking forward to introducing us all.

Oh, the funny thing is that Sams friend’s Dad works for Dentaway. Sam apparently asked him if he could have a look at his Nanny’s car as that’s got more dents that paintwork! Gotta love ‘em!

I’m already starting to realise what it will be like when Sam and Adam get girlfriends - no doubt Sam will spend more time with her family than he does with us. I know it’s silly, but I felt really sad about it in the week when he was at her house for an hour or so. Paul just said, ‘get used to it – that’s what it’s like for the mother of boys!’ I could have cried! I shall insist Adam is gay and never leaves home. He must have all his friends over to our house, where they can advise me on hair, make up and dress sense (gay men are good at that!). Sam’s got his NBF, Darcie’s got her boyfriend at school and Adam loves trains! There you go – problem solved! I think I’ll go out this week and buy him an anorak. It is getting chilly and they’re very practical.

We really need to get our fingers out with the house now as we are due for pre-start and have a date through of 23rd May. We’ve got an appointment with the interior designer who works for the builders next week (who says you can’t buy taste?). So hopefully she tell us what goes and what doesn’t. We went looking at kitchen appliances and tiles today. We want the whole of our bathroom tiled in an ‘expensive hotel’ polished porcelain look. We saw some lovely tiles, but when the lady gave us the price, we nearly keeled over. I only wanted to have some tiles laid in the bathroom – not pay off the National Debt of Papua New Guinea!! So we shall have to meet a compromise of form and function / taste and budget. It’s very easy for the budget to gallop out of control. A few grand here, couple of grand there, and before you know it, you’ve got the most expensive bathroom in the Southern Hemisphere. It all starts to become a blur after a while and you end up obsessing over the ‘right’ shade of beige! As the Ozzies say – ‘build a bridge……get over it!’ Once the flooring’s down, no-one will give a toss whether it’s from the ‘economy’, ‘budget’ or ‘FO expensive’ range. I’m sure it will all come together. I spent all morning Friday cutting pictures out of magazines of things that I like to give the Interior Designer an idea of my taste. Paul came in after two hours and berated me for my pictures of George Clooney and Pierce Brosnan and informed me that I was supposed to be collecting pictures of interiors we liked for the house. I had obviously misunderstood the brief!

We’ve got to get quotes for the air conditioning this week which will be expensive. We have to be able to tell the builders where the outlets need to go, so this is an urgent job. We are going for reverse cycle aircon, which also heats in the winter and heaven knows, we need that – it gets VERY cold here in the evenings. So much to do…….

Business is picking up slowly. Lots of enquiries, but most of them are over East which is a bit of a bummer. The radio ads start running this week, although they say they take four or five times of listening before the brain is actually triggered into acting on them (although this is Australia, so four or five may well be in the hundreds….. we shall have to see!). Our ads appeared in The West Australian last week and we had a few phone calls (admittedly less than we would have liked), but again, they say you have to allow for three of four editions.

Follow the link to hear the radio ads for yourselves.

As I write, Darcie’s first wobbly tooth is holding on for grim death! It has already turned grey, so I know it’s only the tiniest bit of gum that is holding it in. However she is torn between the pain of letting me pull it out and the fear of swallowing it and having to put the Tooth Fairy through the torment of searching through her excrement! I’m sure in the next 24 hours it will be out. I just hope she doesn’t swallow it – she’ll be SO disappointed at having nothing to put under her pillow. Knowing her she model a replacement from a piece of cotton wool, or write a long winded letter explaining what happened and why she still deserves the money!

I haven’t told Adam yet that he’s in daycare for the whole day on Tuesday whilst we go to see the designer. I’ll have to bribe him with something! On his second morning at childcare this week, he knew by my route that we weren’t going home and five minutes from the school, he started sobbing and shouting, ‘NO! DADDY! HOME! NOW!’ I tell you, he is not daft. He’s got a better sense of direction that my Mum! He did manage to give the young girl a wave goodbye when I picked him up on Wednesday – although if you looked closely, I think it was with his index and second finger extended in a V shape.

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