Well, where do I start with our news for Easter?

The week leading up to Easter we decided to hire a camper van and visit Monkey Mia (a world Hertiage site) www.monkeymia.com.au where you can paddle with dolphins that come up onto the beach, but after an entire day spent on the telephone trying to arrange accommodation at campsites and drawing a complete blank, we had to cancel it. I think if our business plans fail, that’s what we’ll do – open a camp site. At least if we’re empty the other 51 weeks of the year, we guaranteed to be fully booked at Easter as everywhere in WA seemed full!

The worst bit was that we’d told the kids and they were really looking forward to a break (almost as much as we were!). So Paul got on the phone to the Flight Center and twice the budget later, we were booked on a flight to Sydney! We were travelling on Saturday to return on the Wednesday, late in the evening – fab! Proper shops, people and restaurants. Yippee! But wait! What if we like it more than WA? As we only every visited Perth prior to our visa application, what would we be like if we liked Sydney more? With the type of visa we are on, we have to live in WA for the first 4 years at least. How frustrated would we be if we found somewhere we liked more????

Anyhow, excitement took over and we threw a fortnight’s worth of possibilities into a case and headed for the airport. We fly with Virgin Blue a ‘low-cost’ no frills airline. They weren’t bad, but there were NO frills at all. All food had to be paid for and the new entertainment system that could be hired for the journey had ‘manufacturing issues’ and wasn’t available. So we had a four hour flight with three very excitable kids and a packet of crayons.







Yes, Miss Parcel really did wear her ears and tail to fly to Sydney!











When we arrived it was dark and we had a 45 minute taxi ride which took us over the Sydney Harbour Bridge and gave us our first view of the Opera House. It looked great all lit up and twinkly. Unfortunately, when the taxi driver asked us if we wanted to go via the bridge, we should have realised it was a scam as it probably added another 20 minutes to our journey to the hotel and the taxi bill then came to $100! Nice view, but it wasn’t worth that much!

We were staying in Manly, a beachside suburb to the North of Sydney. It was nice – they had a promenade and it felt like a cross between Spain and a UK coastal resort on a good day – OK a VERY good day! It’s quite a trendy area with lots of couples/or maybe with one child that is SO pampered and protected it is unreal. The restaurants are quite trendy too, with cracked pepper on your breakfast sausage and freshly squeezed ‘jus’. But it made a nice change to having to drive ten miles to pick up a takeaway and having more than a choice of pizza or chicken – they even had an Indian - but it’s still not the same :-(






Darcie poses by the famous bridge.








So, on Sunday we ventured into Sydney and saw the Opera House at close range and the bridge from every angle – unfortunately, Sam wasn’t old enough to climb it as you have to be ten or older. I think Paul was relived – both for the fact that he would have had to of climbed it with him and he doesn’t ‘do’ heights, and also for his wallet which would have been considerably lighter if Sam had insisted! We went on the monorail that took us on a scenic tour round Sydney (I think it only had 6 stops in total – it was a bit like Groundhog Day as I think we’d gone round twice before we noticed we were going past the same landmarks!). Adam loved that – especially when he looked down and saw the train lines below – he froze with excitement. I hate it when he does that, I’m sure I could snap him over me knee – he just goes rigid! I remember Sam did that one day going the pre-nursery. He had a complete paddy and wouldn’t get in his car seat. He went completely stiff as a board, so I karate-chopped him in the tummy, he crumped, and I managed to get him safely installed into his seat! I don’t know where I learn these nurturing mothering tips – certainly not from a Miriam Stoppard book – perhaps I should write a book of my own with all the things that the books don’t tell you that are invaluable to know – I consider myself an expert on most things!)




Sam by the Opera House










So we got off the monorail at the markets and Sam haggled for a remote control flying saucer for $16 (that he flew in our faces for the rest of the weekend!). Nothing else was worth buying – it was like being in Hong Kong – all the stall holders were Chinese and it was the same tat they were selling there for more money.
We headed off to Darling Harbour where there is a lot for the kids to do. Sam and Darcie hired a peddalo for fifteen minutes. How hilarious was that! The two of them went round and round in circles and as the guys running the stall weren’t paying attention and were relying on the kids to come in when their fifteen minutes were up, Sam and Darcie eventually navigated back to the shore after 1 hour, 20 minutes! Sam made the mistake of putting Darcie in charge of steering (don’t you remember the boat incident?). They had lots of fun and we got a chance to sit and have a coffee, before they were off and moaning about the next thing they wanted to do/buy.

How much fun can you have for $12?









The next day we stayed around Manly and the kids played on the beach and Sam hired a boogie board. The waves were very big and the ‘safe’ swim area kept getting smaller and smaller as the surf lifesavers kept moving the flags closer and closer together. In Sydney over the last week they’ve had freak high tides where the waves have been over ten metres high. Luckily they’d calmed down a bit, but they still looked too rough to me! Adam and I snuggled under a towel whilst Sam surfed and Paul held onto Darcie for dear life so she wasn’t swept out to sea like a Little Miss stuffett-Mermaid.

Then, Monday night, disaster struck as Adam went down with a tummy upset. I have never felt so sorry for a chamber maid in my life as I did in the morning! Our room had a cloud in it! I’m not kidding! It’s own layer of Adam-induced fug. He had a very high temperature, so we spent the day round the hotel. We did have a table booked at the Sydney Tower for lunch, but we had to postpone that until Wednesday – fingers crossed Addy would be up for it…… We have learnt lots about little things we want for our new house on this trip also. Scattered between our photos of the kids by the Opera House is a picture of a sink we like, or a balcony (how sad are we!), but it’s made me realise no matter how chic or trendy, I am NEVER, NEVER having white bed linen as after two days it would be a relief map of illness, bed wetting and assorted stains. No, give me a busy floral pattern anyday – hides a multitude of sins. Hey, white may be fashionable, but a pattern is like me, built for practicality, not style!

Wednesday came and he seemed brighter. Still on lots of calpol though. We made it into Sydney and up the Tower. www.sydney-tower-restaurant.com God, that thing’s tall! Paul made a scene when he refused to sit by the window as he had turned green…. The food was naff, but the view was fab! Then, in true ‘curse of the Delaney’s’ fashion, the revolving restaurant stopped revolving! Eventually someone wound it up again, or put another 50p in the meter and we started up again. Only to have the piped music play ‘Bright Eyes’ Paul’s all time saddest song, to be followed by ‘Bridge over troubled Water’. Could they make us any happier?

We headed down from the Tower to take a boat trip round the harbour. This was great, apart from the fact we were ‘invaded’ by Japanese tourists who were all over the boat like fleas! Everywhere you turned, there was a big set of teeth, a pair of glasses and a camera in your face – and they are SO rude and loud! One of them almost stood on Adam’s pram to get that vital two inches of ‘lift’ to get the Opera House at a better angle! That’s when I went down with the lurgy and christened the boat in my own fashion! Thanks, Adam!




Sam's on the right - in case you were wondering!







Luckily after a quick rest at the hotel it was time to go to the airport. Stopping off en-route to say fairwell to Sydney in my own way, we drove at break-neck speed in a taxi being driven by Stirling Moss. I tipped him grandly by filling my plastic carrier bag as we pulled into the departures section – well, if he hadn’t driven like a looney, I might have made it to the terminal.

The flight is longer coming back due to the route. Sydney airport was particularly busy and even the pilot commented that we were being taken on THE longest taxi route in Australia to get to the runway – it felt like he was driving to Perth! Then we had a head wind that added another half an hour onto our journey, so it was going to be five hours, 15 minutes….. and about 2½ hours into that, Sam threw up everywhere and spent most of the remainder of the flight in the toilet.

Oh well – at least we can say it was eventful! We are very glad to be back home though and Paul and I didn’t think much of Sydney. It’s amazing that after five months of life in Perth with no pollution, not a lot of traffic and less people, we both found Sydney smelly, polluted and lacking that ‘something’ that a big city has – maybe that’s Marks and Spencers? We were both slightly disappointed in it and would rate it well below London, New York or Rome. It’s got a few good tourist attractions, but it’s like the Monorail – once you’ve seen them, you’re left wanting more and it’s just not there. At least we have been and experienced Sydney for ourselves and certainly left our marks!!



Oh, and the Easter Bunny still managed to visit in the hotel room (before the illness – although I have never known there to be so much uneaten chocolate in our house!)

Chocolate Bilby!!

Hi all, thanks for tuning in to this week’s instalment of madness from Oz-trail-ya.

Well, what can I tell you this week? I’ve started my Easter Egg shopping this week and have been REALLY eggs-cited to see that they sell chocolate koalas, wombats and bilbies! Couldn’t resist and bought one of each. How fab that they have covered indigenous wildlife in choccy and we can have fun chomping their heads off! They do look cute, although Mum still thinks that the Easter Bunny is preferable to an Easter Bilby! I have to disagree.

The kids are fine. Sam’s gearing up for this week’s assembly that his class are taking. They have made papier mache animals and learnt songs about marsupials – I can’t wait. I shall be taking my camera and video – because I can!

On Saturday a few of the ex-pats from the forum met up in Mandurah. It was good to see everyone. The sun was shining and the kids played for hours. Fantastic!

We took the boat out yesterday and didn’t have a major mishap (for the first time!). Sam and Darcie both had a go at driving, although Darcie comes from the slalom school of motoring and we’re all left feeling queasy by the time she’s weaved her way up the river! I tie a rope around Adam and he then has the ‘freedom’ to roam around the boat – occasionally lasso-ing himself, but at least he doesn’t plop overboard! We went up and down the river for a while, then moored at a jetty where they had a climbing frame and a BBQ and we had a picnic lunch. The kids played in the water and made some friends and we stayed about two hours before going for a blam in the estuary. Whilst we were there, the mossies mistook me for an ‘all you can eat buffet!’, so I resemble the elephant man today with all my bumps! I’m sure if you did a dot to dot with them, there’d be a constellation – maybe Ursa Major – or the Plough! Or alternatively, if a blind man were to feel me, I’d probably be the equivalent of a newspaper article.

Paul and I had our photo taken today for an editorial they are running along side our ad in the local press. Good grief – would you buy a security system from these people? Paul looks like Grant Mitchell and I look like an extra from ‘Prisoner Cell Block H’. The sad thing is, this was the best one she took! I did ask her to ‘airbrush me’ so I looked tall and thin. She emailed me later to explain that in order for me to look thin, I was actually 7 feet tall and it made the house look out of proportion, so she would have to go with the original! Thanks mate!

We’ve had ten signs made up (like the one in the picture). We have distributed them around the neighbourhood in our attempt the ‘crack the Australian market’. It was funny the day we had them all lined up after I’d glued them. I said they were my chickens and christened them ‘the girls’. I swear after that they would all shuffle amongst themselves and change position. Anyhow, the ‘girls’ are now all out working their street corners…………… hope they are pulling in the punters!

Sam’s been a bit of a toad again lately, so Paul’s told him if he continues to misbehave, we will send him to boarding school. Paul explained that when his Uncle worked abroad, his cousins still went to school in England and flew backward and forward on their own. Sam thought about this for a while and asked how old they were now and what jobs they did. Paul explained that one has had his own IT business and the other was a film director. Quick as a flash, Sam replied, ‘oh well, at least if I have to go to boarding school, it’ll be good for my career!’ Where in heaven’s name does he get this stuff?

We took Adam out for lunch last week. We were just chatting when he picked up his cup, clattered it against mine and said really clearly ‘Cheers, mate!’. We laughed, so now it’s his new party trick and said at every possible occasion. I’m perservering with the potty training, (although I might have to wait until I’ve been shopping tomorrow to pick up some more kitchen towel!). Honestly, it’s like having a puppy in the house! He says ‘poo’, so I whip his nappy off and wheel out the potty and then he just smiles at me, shouts (really loudly), CAN’T and drops one on the lino. Thank heaven for wipeable flooring. Three times now he’s pooed on the floor. I wouldn’t mind, but I know he understands what is required of him. He’s just being a little shit – literally!

Just had to add this photo of Darcie for Mum. I complained that all the clothes in the shops now were winter ones; thick coats and knee high boots and I only wanted a pair of sandals for Miss Parcel. Quick as a flash, Mum grabbed her shopper, put on her head scarf, pulled her tights up over the waist-band of her skirt and she was in Clarks before you could jump-start a broomstick. This is Darcie modelling her ‘sensible school, navy blue sandals’. She also has a pair of beige ones with co-ordinating accessories and a spangly pair for dancing. Thanks, Mum! Love ya!

Got to go – Darcie’s just come up to me demanding clean-pipers to make the anna tennas for her egg box caterpillar. Never a dull moment, eh?

This blog is like waiting for a bus - none along for ages, then two come at once.

I thought I'd post a few more piccies and give a bit more of an update of life in general......... bored yet? You will be!

On Wednesday's Darcie goes dancing. They laughingly refer to it as 'Jazz Ballet'. I would (more accurately, I believe) liken it to a room of twenty, five year olds with no co-ordination, stomping about like hippos wearing pink tutus! Darcie LOVES it and comes out every week convinced that she's like her namesake Darcey Bussell. (As an aside, we've renamed Darcie 'Little Miss Stuffett' - she ate her Muffett whilst she was waiting! Whenever you look at her lately, she's shoving something into her mouth!). After her first lesson, she informed me to buy her the uniform immediately, as she would be dancing until she retires!

Last week, however, she had a minor breakdown and a mini-retirement, claiming she couldn't possibly go dancing as she was 'exhausted'! I ask you? Five and exhausted? What will she be like by the time she's in her thirties with six kids, done three loads of washing, made six packed lunches, done two baskets of ironing and hoovered the lounge all before breakfast (and probably still gets moaned at by her hubby for forgetting to remind him to take his mobile with him when he left the house!).




This week, she was back on track though and was thrilled to be rewarded with a certificate for showing up - I'm sorry, that should say enthusiasm and effort!! I don't think she could have smiled any wider (she probably would have swallowed her head :-) So I have one very happy daughter this week.



Adam, on the other hand, was the picture of unhappiness today. We had a meeting in Perth, so we had to put him into childcare for a few hours. He's been there before and went rigid with fear and dread as soon as we approached the security doors. The Warders (sorry, childcare staff) are very nice and are used to prizing Adam off my shoulder now with expert ease. This week, it only took ten minutes for the indentations of his fingernails to 'pop out' of my fleshy arms! He would have got an Oscar for his acting today. He was totally grief stricken. There was sobbing and snot and everything! I hid round the corner for five minutes and was upset to discover he'd stopped! How quickly they forget? Felt like popping back round to pinch him - I warrant at least a half hours upset - I'm a GREAT mum! It didn't help that he fell asleep into he car before we arrived at the childcare place, so it kinda crept up on him. He wore himself out by stealing the ham sandwich I made him for lunch out of his lunchbox whilst Paul and I were involved in a 'double or quits' game of 'trust the sat nav, or not?'. A game we play frequently where we question the superior knowledge and guidance of the satellite navigation and try to fool it, by taking an alternative route. Good job she's pre-programmed with a patient, calming voice. She must feel like screaming out sometimes ' for F*&s sake - I said LEFT. Why do I bother? Why do you ask me in the first place if you're not going to listen to me??!!!'

Anyhow, we got to Perth eventually (we succumbed to the greater intelligence of the woman squeezed into a microchip and drove where we were told) and had the meeting. The guy from ADT treated us to lunch too, which was very nice - they had a whole bowl of melted milk chocolate and marshmallows with cocktail sticks that you dunked. I REALLY had to restrain myself from having a Dawn French moment when she put her whole head in the chocolate fountain! Wouldn't have looked that professional I guess!

When I went back to pick Adam up from the prisoner camp, he was asleep. Strapped in a buggy - apparently he's lashed out at another toddler when they dared to touch his hat and had to be restrained.............. only joking. He was really knackered, but kept rolling off the bed, so they put him in the buggy and he went out like a light. So I woke him up and carried him out to the car and he gave me the FILTHIEST looks ever! He is very much like me and will hold a grudge for as longs as is humanely possible. He whinged and moaned all the way home and scowled so hard at me that his eyebrows completely disappeared under a fold of forehead! He hates me! He spent the whole hour on the way back telling his trains what a bad parent I am and how nasty was I to put him in childcare without his complete compliment of rolling stock!

If you say to Adam that we're going out and get in the car, he rushes over to his train table and scoops up as many of Thomas's little pals as his chubby arms will support. You daren't not take them - it's just not worth the face! His personal best for a trip out is four large engines, two smaller ones and three tenders. He knows them all personally and heaven help you if you try and sneak one in your pocket when he's not looking - he has x-ray vision!

Paul went to the shop tonight while I took the kids to the beach (well, Sam and Darcie - Adam would rather have his fingernails pulled out with pliers than venture anywhere near the beach. He has asked me to write and petition the council to have the beach tarmaced as the sand gets in his sandals and the performance of his rolling stock is compromised). Paul was really sweet and brought back chocolate eggs for us all and dished them out in an 'Oscars' fashion. Sam got an award for doing good singing at school today (he was the best behaved and tried hardest in his class), Darcie got hers for her excellent Hippo - sorry dancing yesterday. Adam got one for being a good boy in childcare. and I got one for being an all round good egg!! Paul was most gutted at 7.30 when he realised that he's forgotten to get himself one and no-one would share! We love you, you are our provider and protector - just DON'T ask us to share our choccy!

Speaking of eggs, we're having our Easter Bunny hunt this year by torch light as it's too hot during the day. It won't be much fun discovering twenty pools of chocolate round the garden where the Bunny dropped an egg. Can't wait. Must make sure that batteries are fully charged in the torch, otherwise we'll end up with a chocolate egg with eight huge legs!!! :-)

Sam with his Templewood leaving card that he took to school for 'show and tell'

The kids on the biscuit

Photo of a dolphin as taken from our boat :-)

Off now to unfurrow my sons brow, iron my hippos tutu and polish my son's surf board. Have fun all.

It's Paul's Birthday!!!
(I know it says the 13th on the date, but it's actually the 14th today, so ner ner!!)

I couldn't put the right number of candles on - OK! There's a risk of bush fire here you know!

Paul with his pressie - a painting of the kids I had commissioned for him.

Well my lovelies, thought I’d post a little update from down under. We’ve been busy setting up the business etc, but we don’t have a great deal to show for it at the moment…… it will come. Starting the business in the UK took nearly a year to get any money rolling in and I don’t expect it to be any different here for a minute!

We have, however both passed our Police Licences! I am now a Registered Security Agent and Consultant and Paul is a Security Consultant. This means we can hire security guards, carry out crowd control administration and I quite fancy signing up for the firearms course :-) don't mess with me, I have PMT AND a hand gun! Took hours of studying and tears, that did, but we passed eventually (OK, OK, I was the one who had to take the test twice!) and today we have been issued with our licence numbers. Woo Hoo! I wouldn't mind, but we passed on 28th February and only got the numbers today after we chased them for the third time!

The kids are still very happy at school – although completely knackered! We don’t have half term over here, so when they started school on Feb 1st (apart from Bank Holidays of which we have had two!), they don’t get a week off until Easter!! It’s a long slog – especially for the littlies. At least they are happy and have made lots of friends.

Mr Cheese is growing up by the day. His vocabulary is increasing rapidly. It’s astonishing how much like Sam he is – he is never to be seen without a train in his hand. His first word in the morning is train and he takes a few to bed with him.

Now we have been here for a few months, I have compiled a list of things I love and things that I don’t love as much about Oz. It’s strange the things you miss (apart from friends and family, of course!). I miss being able to walk into town and meet pals for a coffee and cake in John Lewis. Paul misses country lanes(?). I miss Tesco – I know, I know, I NEVER thought I’d miss Tesco! Paul misses a good curry with the curry club! Ooohh, actually, I'd love a rake around Primark for half an hour too.

I LOVE…….
The fact that you can hang your washing out and before it’s even on the line, it’s almost dry!

I DON’T LOVE AS MUCH……..
The fact that it’s so windy and the rotary clothes line whizzes round fast, so I can bend down to pick up the next shirt to be pegged to the line, and get smacked in the face with a wet pair of Sam’s pants…… yuech!!

I LOVE…….
The weather! And the fact that you know when the forecast says ‘sun’, it really will be!!

I DON’T LOVE AS MUCH……..
The weather! And the fact that it can be as hot as 31º at 8.45am and you can’t walk anywhere without dripping in perspiration and smelling like a damp dog!

I LOVE…….
Taking the boat out and watching dolphins at close range.

I DON’T LOVE AS MUCH……..
The supermarkets!! They are pants! I’ve worked it out that the aisles are too narrow and too tall. They do try and cheer them up be adding piped music, but even Samantha Fox singing ‘Touch me!’ doesn’t do enough to stop me wanting to slash my wrists by the time I get to the frozen peas! I honestly don’t know what record collection they dreg either to get the music for the shopping centres. I heard ‘You’re my favourite waste of time’ by that one-hit wonder Scottish bloke ‘Nothings gonna change my love for you’ by the Euro crooner who snogged someone on a beach in the video and ‘So macho’ by Sinitta in the space of a shoe shop and a butchers!

Do you know that over here you can buy coloured tampons (no, I don’t know why, either!), and KY jelly that heats automatically. They sell party pies, icy poles and paddle pops. Stubbies, eskies and ute’s. It’s all ‘good on yer’, ‘she’ll be right’ and ‘no worries’. This place certainly is different!

We went to the boat show in Hillary’s yesterday as a birthday treat for Paul. There were loads of VERY expensive boats there, but something for every budget too. We bumped into the salesman who we bought our boat from and he chuckled at some of our adventures. Wouldn’t want to run the one he was standing on onto a sandbank at $500,000 and 35 foot – Paul couldn’t just hop over the side and push that little beauty into deeper water! It was a nice day – there is a very nice coffee shop there and coffee and cake was very welcome. The kids had a play on the beach for an hour, then we headed off to Chutney Mary’s so Paul could ease his withdrawal symptoms and have a curry. You wouldn’t believe given the number of brits over here the lack of curry houses! It was very nice, but very different to the Bipash :-( Still, it was the spiciest thing that passed Paul’s lips in three months, so he was happy.

After that, we went to Perth Zoo to watch a Queen tribute act. They were very good and the lead singer REALLY sounded like Freddie Mercury. Sam got upset though when her went to the catering stand and wanted to buy Paul a beer for his birthday and they refused to serve him! Bless. He was so upset for ages about that.

Sunday we went to the Crab Fest in Mandurah, although I shall be writing to the council – three hours we were there and we didn’t see one sodding crab! Talk about Trades Descriptions! Although as everything is driven by the unions over here, perhaps one got mis-treated and it was a case of ‘one out – all out’. It was nice weather though and there were lots and lots of people there. They had power boat racing on the estuary (good job we didn’t take the boat out there today as we probably would have taken the wrong turn and found ourselves competing in a race!) and water skiing demonstrations.

Last week we went for a drive inland. It’s not until we came home and looked on Google Earth – we’d been driving for the best part of five hours and only went inland about half an inch on the map! It was typically Australian, some parts of the drive. There was no tarmac and if you looked behind the car, all you could see were clouds of red dust. If you looked to the front, only the yellow kangaroo warning signs and miles and miles of red road.

Typically Australian, isn't it? Not the place to run out of petrol!

We stumbled across the most amazing dam. It was 100 metres tall and the views were amazing. At the bottom there was a picnic area with crystal blue waters. You could see the Yabbies swimming (like little freshwater crayfish). It was lovely. Definitely somewhere we’d like to go back for a Barbie. We also visited a local miniature village based on Abingdon in Oxfordshire. It was beautiful – but it was one of the hottest days we’ve had since arriving, so we want to re-visit in the Spring when all the border plants should be in flower.

The kids at the miniature village.

You've heard of the Yellow Pages - welcome to the Darcie Pages!

It’s been another busy couple of weeks for us all. We’re still working hard at meeting new people and socialising whenever we get the opportunity. There is a BBQ at the golf club every Friday and you buy meat packs from behind the bar, cook your own food and there are two guys on guitars singing and playing. Good fun and there’s a real mix of people that go. We’ve done that for the last two Fridays.

The birthday Fairy at Perth Zoo

So, our little cherub reached the giddy heights of 5 this week. The HRT patches I wrapped for her weren't a hit, but I'm telling you, the way she talks and acts, she'll be in her menopause before I will!

Friday (her actual birthday) was a bitter-sweet day for her as the day before, we had a telephone call from Secret Harbour Primary school to say that a place had become available and did we still want it for Darcie? Well, yes.... fantastic. That means that they can walk or ride their bicycles together and takes alot of pressure off of getting to two schools in the morning..... only for the last two days, Darcie has REALLY bonded with another little girl in her class. I told her the news about changing schools and she jumped for joy "I'll be able to go to the same school as Sam! I'll be able to see him in the playground - and all his friends!" Then her little face clouded over and she got really upset because she wouldn't be able to play with her new friend anymore. How bad did I feel? That's right Darcie, you just put yourself out there, make an effort to get new friends, and I will rip you away from them all again :-( I know it's better to happen now, rather than in a later term, but I really felt bad.

Anyhow, her teacher was really nice and packaged up her work for her to take home. She's done some lovely artwork, it's beautiful! She went to school armed with two cakes, two packs of bubbles to share with everyone and a industrial size package of party poppers. She came home similing!

For her birthday, she got a fish tank, so after school, we took her to the pet shop to pick some fish. It took her ages - she kept choosing the stupid plastic ornaments, rather than the live ones, but we coaxed her and got there in the end! Paul had a scrouge moment when he accused us of buying all the fish in the Indian Ocean (we bought 4!!), but I think she is pleased with her purchases. She's even got a Siamese Fighting Fish in a cold water tank - it's a bully and chases all the other fish.

Darcie and her "Nemo" buddies.

On Saturday, we went to Perth Zoo for her birthday treat. It's lovely there. We went for Adam's birthday last year and everyone agreed they wanted to go back again. They've still got a HUGE crocodile there (350kg / 50 years old's worth!) and the BIGGEST python you've ever seen in your life! The keepers did a talk on snakes and Sam stroked one again - yyuuuccchhh!!

The zoo was fairly uneventful (you know, the usual fun was had watching the animals wee, and the monkeys sticking their fingers up their noses!), until Sam asked in a really loud voice on the African Savanna section, "Mum, Dad, how DO giraffe's have sex?" Urmm..... Errm.......... 'Oh look - over there Sam, it's a Rhino... (quick run!). Where does he get these things from? How does he even know what sex is? Too many worrying questions! Moving on..... Adam loved the penguins and is actually fluent in 'Wark', the penguin language! He stood for at least ten minutes, answering them whenever they called. I must check his toes for webbing later - he can bl**dy talk penguin, but he still can't say 'Sam'!

Darcie waits for the film to start in King's Park:

After the zoo, we went to King's Park to watch Chicken Little at the Moonlight Cinema. I think the people have got even more ostentatious than last year (if that's possible? Australians don't travel light and their picnics could cater for several hundred, rather than the four family members in their party!). The family sitting in front of us, for example, had freshly prepared sushi (with a container of soy sauce, for heaven's sake! - or should that be 'for heaven's saki'?). It does get a bit nippy, but there is something magical about watching a film with several hundred strangers under the stars. They bring bean bag beds, duvets, sleeping bags - you name it - they lug it over car park and dog turd. Mr Cheese LOVED it and as soon as the film started, sat glued to my lap - laughing and clapping at the funny bits.

Sunday we went to the kite festival in Secret Harbour (which was a bit naff!) and afterwards, Darcie had her horse riding lesson. She absolutely loved it. As soon as she arrived, she brushed the pony, they saddled her up together and Darcie was off, on her own! She was steering the pony on her own - I don't even know how to start a horse, (wouldn't have a clue where to insert the key!), she did some trotting, steered in and out of cones and even tackled a little jump. She was fab!

Harvey Smith, eat your heart out!

So, fun over, she's got another new uniform now (I'm not too unhappy - I sold the old one to another parent for $70! :-) I just feel for her having 'another' first day tomorrow. She's such a little star though, I'm sure she'll be fine. I went to the P&C (parents and citizens - like the school association) meeting on Wednesday night and commented on how I had to drive my daughter to a neighbouring school (bah humbug!). I was sitting opposite the Prinicpal, but he didn't comment, but low and behold - the VERY next day, I got the telephone call offering Darcie the place! Coincidence? Probably; but thanks anyway!

Uniform number 2 - do we like this one more? Shall we stick with it?

She had her first dance class this week, too and loved that as well. The first week, I was supposed to take her, but got lost and couldn't find the stupid place. I was really worried that she'd be upset as she was really looking forward to it. I braced myself, turned to her and apologised and asked if she was OK. Her little shoulders were shaking in the back of the car and I feared the worst...... "oh Mum," she laughed, "you're SUCH a plonker!"

Finally, some good news about the house. Mr and Mrs Indecisive have signed up with a builder! Hoorraahh!! We are building a two storey house with Perceptions. It will take approx. eight weeks to get all the plans drawn up and six months for the builders to actually start work on site (has to go through shire planning etc), and completion should be Darcie's birthday......... 2008! Bugger! Never mind - good things come to he who waits. It's fab (we like it). It has a self-contained office for us, so when we do take on staff (for the visa requirements) they will be able to come and go if we are away, but only get into the office and the toilet. It has a home theatre, huge alfresco area and the kids bedrooms upstairs with an activity/fifth bedroom.

I

It's really daunting as we get to choose the colour of the render, roof tiles and window frames. I think I'll just let Paul choose - perhaps I've inherited Dad's taste and have a mad moment and order it tangerine colour. I think I should do that anyway - in Dad's honour. What do you reckon?

School, Birthdays and Cars – just a normal week for the Delaney Gang!

OK – the kids have started school. Hoorah!! And what’s even better is they both love it. Double Hoorah! Sam started yesterday and didn’t look back at all as he walked into his classroom. He was ‘buddied’ up with an old hand who helped him find his way round. He was so excited and couldn’t wait to go back today. The door bell rang at 8.15 and it was his mate from down the road, on his bike with his Mum ready to accompany Sam to school on his bike! Day two! Expect him to be on a unicycle juggling to school next week. My baby!

Sam raring to go.

Darcie started a day after Sam and she only stayed for the morning, but she too came out of the classroom with a huge grin on her face. She played with three other girls and couldn’t wait to get home and tell Sam all about it. She was a bit put out when I told her that she’d only done a half day, and Sam still had another three hours to go. She flopped in the car and said, ‘it was really good, Mum. I’ve had a great day, but can you not talk to me now, I’m just too exhausted!’ Great! On the plus side, I now know what to get her for her birthday the week after next – a HRT patch. She’s obviously maturing so quickly, she’ll need one before long!

Darcie outside school on day one! Still smiling!

And, last but not least – Mr Cheese’s 2nd birthday!!! He had a FAB time (I think – didn’t say much, apart from ‘Pooh Bar’, ‘door, ‘burfdeee’ and he can’t say Thomas yet – so he sings the theme tune to Thomas the Tank Engine as he plays with his trains. Very cute! He took Thomas with him when we took Darcie to school this morning and he clutched it all the way there and back. He loved his Thomas balloon, and got REALLY cross with me when I grabbed it off him as he tried to wrestle it through the patio doors. I could just imagine in on the Channel 7 News – ‘……important developments tonight on the Secret Harbour toddler who went flying away on the sea breeze whilst clinging to an over-size character balloon in the back yard of his rental house on his 2nd birthday’. Didn’t want to risk it – although he had such a tantrum, I felt like tying the damn thing to his leg and chucking him in the air…… just to see what would happen – purely in the name of science, you understand.

Happy Birthday Mr Chesterton!! 2 today!

It’s heaven in our house at the moment – it’s eight o’clock and all three kids are asleep – unheard of! Sam played with his friend after school again and his Mum came round too and had a coffee and a piece of cheese’s birthday cake which was nice. Even his cake had a picture of Thomas on! He got the hang of the candle eventually, after one singed eyebrow and a slightly scorched finger. He just wanted us to relight it over and over again after that. I’m really glad we’d eaten the cake by this time and he was just blowing out the candle as he had more spittle than puff. He was singing Happy Birthday to himself before he blew his candle out. It was very sweet!

I was talking to Darcie about her birthday and was joking with her that she wasn’t going to get any presents. ‘But I’ve got to Mummy. IT’S THE LAW!’ She was deadly serious too!

We’ve also had to buy another car. Seeing as Darcie has to go to a different school to Sam about a ten minute drive away, we were worried that with the business, we wouldn’t always have a car sitting on the drive to hop into. We decided on a Ford (eventually) and went to the local dealer in Mandurah. They were really nice and we phoned to say we’d take the car, but as our money is still in the UK, we wouldn’t be able to pay and pick it up until late next week. The Salesman said that was fine. Then, half an hour later, the phone rang. It was the Ford dealer. ‘Can you fax us proof that you have the funds available?’ ‘Yes’, Paul said, ‘but I don’t see what relevance that is to you!’ ‘Well’, said the salesman, ‘if you can show us proof that you have the funds waiting to be transferred over, you can take the car away this afternoon!’ And that was that – they didn’t ask for a deposit, credit card imprint or anything!! So we have a car sitting on the drive that we’ve been hammering around in that we haven’t even paid for. Can you see that happening in England?

Sam poses in his uniform with the new car.

I suppose our life down under well and truly starts in earnest now as we’re into school routine. So far, it’s going well apart from a few small hic-cups (mainly telephone companies ripping us off – but apparently, that’s normal and they do it to the locals too!). It’s strange how quickly you begin to take everything for granted and it was when I was driving on my own to pick Darcie up from school this afternoon that it hit me. We are living in AUSTRALIA!!! Oh my god, we did it! We’ve got a nice rental house, the kids are in school, we’ve got two lovely cars sitting on the drive, bought and paid for (well – almost!), and a 20’ boat to complete the picture. The sun was shining and it felt GREAT! We really do need kick up the bum every now and then to remind us just how beautiful it is here. We are very lucky to have the opportunity to experience life in Oz. I only hope through this blog, you can experience the sights and sounds of Australia with us.

P.S. On a completely off-topic thought – the reason I bought a Dyson vacuum came home to me today as I hovered up a spider. An inferior model vacuum would never have managed to get all eight of those hairy appendages sucked down the tube at such speed as the Dyson. Could you imagine being faced with a big creepy crawlie, only to have it lose suction? I think James Dyson should add that immediately to all his advertising campaigns in Australia. I will email him straight away with this idea. I should imagine that’s why he makes the dust collection chamber see-through – so you can watch them grimace as they whiz round and round at high speed. Like a spidery ‘wall of death’ – only without the motor bike – obviously – never seen a spider on a motorbike (they all take the bus!).

On that note – goodnight!

Oh - have a look at our business website: www.affinity-one.com.au

Fun with Water.

Well, this week children, we have been exploring ways to have fun on the water. It started with the boat on Sunday.......

It was the first time we took it out on our own and after driving at 5kmh all the way to the boat ramp, we managed the twenty minute journey in about an hour! It was full of "mind that roundabout!", "slow down" and "is the boat still behind the car, Sam?"'s. We thought getting the boat hitched to the car and getting to the ramp was an ordeal......... good grief, that was only the beginning!

Behind you! It's huge! Should they be driving THAT close?

Getting the boat off the trailer and into the water involved a team of five (us), three other boat owners (one to reverse the trailer, one to help us launch the boat and one to hold onto the boat while we went to park the car!). It was a like a scene out of 'Chucklevision'. To you - to me...... Eventually, we were waterbound and heading for the open sea with a few provisions and a wet-version of the 'highway code'. Fun? Relaxing? I'd never felt so tense!

We all calmed down once we'd managed to navigate our way out of the marina (Paul never was very good in car parks - he'll follow an arrow to the death, even if it adds another three miles to his exit route - imagine how he coped with NO arrows. He was like a rabbit in headlights - 'which way, Ju. Which way IS out?' How good would that have looked. 'Yeah, we went out on the boat. Couldn't actually find our way out of the marina and just chugged around looking at the arse-end of people's boats for an hour!' We never would have told you anyway!

We actually started to enjoy the experience. Sam however, left teethmarks in the upholstery! Yes, Sam Delaney, speed freak, tough guy and general hard nut was screaming at Paul to 'SLOW DOWN' as soon as the speedo hit 10mph. He did get used to it after a while and started to enjoy crossing the wake and hopping over the waves at speed. It toook a long while for him to loosen up though. He's too much like Paul, the older he gets, the more information he retains about things that can harm, bite, maime or kill and he dwells on them for a great deal longer than is healthy.

At the back of my mind, I was still worried about how we were going to get the bloody boat back on the trailer, so after a good scoot up and dowm the estuary we decided to head back for the boat ramp to give the locals another laugh at our totally inadequate boatmanship. As we scooted along, we noticed a dolphin, feeding and playing in the shallows. Then another. Then another. There must have been about 12 in all. They love playing with the boats and swim along side them if the mood takes them. One surfaced about 6 feet from the side of our boat - it was absolutely magical. We must have spent about three quarters of a hour watching these beautiful mammals at close range.

We headed back and it took another three boat-loads of people to get us back into the jetty. A bent boat hook and a lot of wet rope later and the boat was actually back on the trailer. I've decided that I need an intensive 'how to lassoo course' so I am actually able to throw a rope more than two inches in front of my face with miminal effort and without launching myself off the boat with the rope!

It was a huge sigh of relief that was heaved when we had the boat safely (well, safely-ish - we knocked the arial off!), back on the drive. We haven't been able to face the humilation of a repeat performance just yet. We might have to wait until next weekend when there are lots of boaters around. If there hadn't been anyone there to help us, we could still be there now, floating around the marina, on our 2000th attempt to get the boat alongside the jetty!

More fun on the water is to be had in the shape of swimming lessons for Sam and Darcie this week (and next week - but I haven't told them about that bit yet!). It's very different from swimming lessons with Tony. No singing and no floatation aids are allowed. They seem to be enjoying it though. The lessons are held at a public pool, which has 'open sides' that can be rolled up so that you can take your towel and sit in the grass after your swim.

Darcie practises her 'Madge with the Badge' impression

Sam's under there somewhere. "Breathe and blow"

The funniest thing is; all the lifeguards are young (teenage) Aussies. Very fit and athletic and very helpful. I was watching Sam in his class today (honest), when one of the

young male lifeguards stood directly in my line of sight and bent over to talk to a colleague in the pool. Printed on the back of his shorts was the slogan "Shouldn't you be watching your kids?" How priceless is that? I HAD to take a photo after that. I pretended to take a picture of Sam (yes, you are still allowed to take photos of you own children in a public place in Australia - how novel!), and then quickly move the aim of the camera onto the lifeguard's rear! The picture isn't that clear though - couldn't really ask him to bend over. I will endeavour to obtain a better photograph tomorrow - all in the name of journalism, you understand.

Well - it would be rude not to look!

More house viewing on the cards for tomorrow. We still can't decide between single/double storey house, so we made an appointment with someone else to confuse us a little bit more. Ho hum!

TTFN

Photo Album

Sam rides the waves

Darcie relaxes with a Pims on board

Adam grins as he circum-navigates the Indian Ocean

Sam poses with our "baby". Any suggestions for a name?

Cool dude!

WOOHOO!!!!

At King's Park overlooking Perth

This is the house we like - currently waiting for the builder to give us a final costing, which could take weeks - W.A. = Wait Awhile!

We've got our boat!!

We took delivery of our boat today - hooray!! After an embarrassing hic-cup at the dealers when Lloyds stopped the credit card transaction for "security" reasons, the purchase was made and the sales guy took us out for a tutorial on the water.

Bouy (see what I did there?), can this thing shift? Even Adam had a smile spread over his entire face when we accelerated. We hit 50mph, which when you're on water, really feels fast.

We stopped off on the way to pick up the boat and got the kids fitted out with life jackets - Sam's has extra weight sewn into the seams (little sod!). Paul was reversing back to hook the boat trailer up to the car when Sam commented to the sales guy, "I don't think this is going to go well at all - Dad can't even get my baby brother in his car seat without Mum's help!" even the sales guy laughed and asked me where I found him. I said I couldn't remember, but if I had a receipt, believe me, he would have been returned MORE than once!

Cheesey feels the wind blow through his barnet

January 2006. Happy New Year!

The New Year has got off to a flying start and we are as busy as ever starting to get our lives organised! We have now enlisted the help of an accountant who can register our Australian business and assist with tax and all those lovely details. We are eagerly awaiting the arrival of our broadband this week, along with our boat :-) which should hopefully arrive on Thursday - see the picture below. Paul will obviously be using it to travel at great speed and deliver boxes of "Black Magic".


We've got to phone around and get ourselves booked on a BoatSmart course so we are aware of the basics.......

Our shipment arrived on 4th January safe and sound as you can see. Chaos reigned and even now there are about 30 boxes that we haven't even looked in! Customs confiscated three boxes; our tent (£50 from Tescos, used twice) and two boxes of Xmas decs.

Sam is booked on a "Learn to Surf" course on Thursday/Friday and Saturday this week for an hour each day. They provide the wetsuits and the board, so it should be fun to watch him practise his "Dude moves". I've also got the kids swimming lessons booked for next week - we want them to be confident in the water with the boat and everything... we can also pick up Sam's stationary for school this week - as you have to provide their writing materials, you can pre-order it before term starts and pick it up at the equivalent of W H Smiths without having to shop around. We've also got to visit the school uniform shop the day before term starts and get Sam's uniform sorted (hope they've got his size in stock, or he'll be in a dress!!). Darcie is on the waiting list at the moment for pre-primary, but there's a montesorri in a nearby town that we might consider enrolling her in as I think she needs a bit more of a challenge.

So, all in all, the first weeks in January are busy ones. Add to this visits to show houses to see builders and try and move forward with what sort of house to put on our lot and visits to A&E with Adam who decides to headbutt concrete whilst in one of the show houses..... it's busy, busy, busy.

Take care and will update soon.

Us xXx

We're here, we've landed and we've arrived!

"Our house - in the middle of our street!"

Well, we've officially been in Australia a month now! We arrived on November 26th and Boxing Day marked our one month anniversary. Another eleven and we've done a whole year!

The above shows our house in Secret Harbour. We moved on on 21st December 2005 and after a frantic couple of days assembling garden furniture (to use until our container of belongings is delivered on 4th January '06), beds and variouls electrical equipment, christmas arrived and was enjoyed by all (if somewhat different to what we've been used to in previous years!).

We visited the beach on christmas afternoon (you have to - it's the LAW!!) and had a BBQ for breakfast. Sam finally got to play with his PSP after the torture of buying it in Hong Kong and waiting those four agonising weeks. He also got a BMX bike and a motorised scooter that he whizzes round the streets on, giving Darcie a lift back from the beach when he's feeling generous!

Darcie got a Nintendo DS and a virtual reality dog game that she loves, a bike and lots of dolls and girlie toys. Adam got a motorised car which he scoots about in, abusing ankles as he goes!

For New Year we went down to the foreshore at Mandurah which is about 20 minutes from us. They had free face painting and airbrush tattoos for the kids as well as pony rides and other entertainment. They offer two fireworks displays - one at 9pm for all those with little kids, and then the die-hard party-ers carry on until midnight. We watched the 9pm display, had a yummy fish and chip dinner overlooking the bay and then came home to have sparklers in the garden and ring the UK and wish everyone "Happy New Year" at 4pm in the afternoon!

December 2005 - Oz!!





We are currently living in Ocean Reef which is a very nice suburb to the North of Perth. The house we are renting has a lovely view of the ocean to the back and we sat in the garden to open our Advent Calendars on Dec 1st!

We had really good views of the sea rescue helicopter practise exercise one day (well in truth, we all paniced as we thought the damn thing was going to land on our roof!). It was there for about two hours, going out to sea, winching people up and dropping them back to shore (not literally!).



We have found a long-term rental in Secret Harbour (about a 45 minute drive to the south of Perth) which is where we have our plot of land and where we want to settle. We can't move in though until 21st December, which is obviously cutting it a bit fine for christmas. What we are having to do is buy essential stuff that we will need (as the rental is unfurnished. This includes beds, TV, kitchenware, etc) and store it in the garage at Ocean Reef. We've hired a 'man with a van' to help us move it all down to SH. We just can't afford to leave it until we get down there.



We've bought a car. A silver Toyota Prado. Very nice with lots of mod cons. We looked round a few garages and were convinced we were going to buy a Ford - we just thought we'd have a look in the Toyota garage to explore every avenue and came out having bought a Toyota (after Darcie threw up on the forecourt - but that's a different story!).


So, that's a few things to tick off the list; car - check; house - check; christmas - getting check. There are still hundreds of things left on our list though! It doesn't help that there's no telephone line at the house. For us, with no internet is a bit like losing a limb. Oh well, not for much longer!

We've still had some fun in between the 'work' stuff of getting houses and cars sorted.