Friday, June 30, 2006


Blurred happiness wearing 'Nanny's Nana' that Sam used to wear.

Adam concentrates on the playstation
Can you see the bags under our eyes?

Bloody football!!! It’s great that England are doing so well (ah-hem…..), but give us a break – 11pm kick offs are the earliest! Heaven forbid we get to extra time and penalties – we’ll need to buy matchsticks in industrial quantities. I would just like to put it on the record now that the Socceroos woz robbed! Thank you, I have said it, I shall now move on…..

It’s been a busy few weeks again. I don’t know where the weeks disappear to! This week, Sam has a school trip into Perth. He is VERY excited. I however, have to compete with Mum’s trip to M&S and a bill of £30 to provide a ‘special’ packed lunch for him whenever he went on a day trip with Templewood. I’m gonna have trouble with that one! I might do him a hard boiled egg and tell him to be grateful after his antics last week!

On Friday, Sam informed me it was his ‘news’ day at school, but as he didn’t have any news exciting enough, he made up an elaborate story about Darcie falling off the trampoline and breaking her leg! ‘My whole class feel really sorry for you, Darcie’ he told her! I didn’t think much of it as Sam constantly has a pimple on his tongue from little white lies! On Saturday, we were having a girls night out and one of the Mums phoned me to see if I was still going as she didn’t realise Darcie has broken her leg!! Part of me was disgusted that he would make up such a nasty story as he didn’t have any news, and the other half was proud for his ability to think on his feet! Anyhow, at the time of this phonecall, Sam was at the skate park. I’d given him my mobile just in case I needed to call him home - he rang ME about five times!! – so the next time he phoned, Paul asked him what the Darcie/leg story was all about? Quick as a flash, Sam replied ’ah, yes…… about that……. Gotta go – sorry, bye!!’ How cheeky can you get?? Saturday Sam spent the whole day in and out of the house with friends, down to the skate park, over to the shop, into his mate’s houses….. it was a real Piccadilly circus.

I had a fab night out with some girl friends on Saturday night. We went into Mandurah, had a bottle of wine in a bar and then on to dinner in a nice restaurant. We had a real giggle and it was lovely to let our hair down and enjoy ourselves.

Sunday we braved the local pool and took the kids swimming. It’s quite cool there – they have a water slide, a beach section, lots of bubbles and one of those river things that takes you along in a current. For all of us to swim and Paul to have a sauna cost less than £7. Sam tried the water slide out, and asked the lifeguard how old you had to be to ride. He said that you had to be six – ‘no problem’, pipes up Darcie ‘I’ll just lie and tell him I’m six already!’ are you noticing a theme with my children? Darcie tried it and declared it to be ‘awesome’.

Today I helped out in Darcie’s class at school. I picked a good day as they had a travelling music group and had to do 'stuff all' other than sit on my bum and listen to four people play more instruments than I have ever seen in my life! It was excellent and the kids really enjoyed it. They sat still brilliantly for such young kids and then joined in with so much enthusiasm when they were asked. It was lovely to watch.

One thing’s for sure, we’re all looking forward to Christmas. That’s ‘Christmas in July!’ It’s a big thing here as July is the middle of winter and the closest I suppose we can come to a traditional cold UK Christmas. They have office parties, Christmas dinner/dances in restaurants and decorations. Should be interesting! I’ll keep you posted on that one. There’s even a local nature reserve which offers the following:

Santas Bibbulmun Vacation:
For the young and young at heart! An easy 5km return stroll to meet Santa and friends on holiday from the North Pole at a Bibbulmun Track timber shelter! Enjoy a BYO picnic while listening to Santas stories. Then experience a magical return by torch light following the reflective Waugal trail markers. Location advised after booking. 1 hr from Perth. Ages 3yrs and up. Includes small gift for children. Max 2 adults per child. Max 2 children per adult. Suitable for robust pushchairs.
How cool does that sound! Fancy bumping into Santa on his holidays!! Just a bugger that it’s full already for this year. I’ll have to try and remember to book it for next year – it won’t be the same in December in 40 degree heat and legions of flies.
Adam’s potty training is going from bad to worse. I’m thinking of enrolling him in puppy training classes instead. He’s a nightmare! Knows exactly what to do, just refuses to do it! He’s got a terrible habit of sleeping with his hand down the front of his nappy. No word of a lie, I got him out of bed the other morning and his hand was white and wrinkled like he’d spent all night in the bath! Nice, eh?
Stop Press: Adam has actually used his potty twice today – once as a hat and the other as a step….. only joking! HE DID IT!! We have to ‘high five’ after the event, have a huge self-congratulatory back slapping session and then do the whole ‘bye-bye wee wee’ routine where we smile, wave and wish it well on it’s travels. The joys of parenthood, eh? Not to mention the fact the he goes round all day with no pants on (one thing at a time – he can’t get to the potty AND remember to pull his pants down too), winking at us when he bends over!

We have reached a milestone within our emigration journey. Last week, Paul got a speeding ticket. To be honest, we are surprised that we’ve gone this far without one as they are really hot on it here with mobile speed cameras hidden in bushes, with Police officers that just jump out at you and blind you with a flash so bright, it’s like a shooting star two inches from your nose. I wouldn’t mind but:

(a) they tell you on the TV news the night before where the speed cameras are going to be located,

(b) I had literally 30 seconds before the flash told Paul to slow down as it was a common spot for speed cameras and then (probably MOST annoyingly),

(c) Paul did the same bloody thing two days later and another one flashed in his face at Mach 4!

He did think about contesting it using the Navman software, but thought better of it as the download showed him breaking the speed limit several more times and at a slightly faster speed than he was caught at during the same journey. It’s a huge revenue generator for the government and they will send a ticket for 3kms over the speed limit. Driving whilst drunk (or certainly over the limit) is acceptable though and most Aussies consider it to be perfectly normal!! They have a warped sense of danger when you consider that the average speed limit on a freeway is 80kph which equates to 49 miles per hour!! If and when we ever return to the UK on holiday a trip on the motorway will make me feel like Penelope Pitstop zooming along at breakneck speed (the kids are obviously the Anthill Mob – eh,eh,eh we’re all gonna die………). I’ll feel like bloody Michael Shumacher at speeds of 70MPH! I don’t think I’ll be able to handle the speed after so long of driving at a snails pace.




Just something quick that make me laugh this week..... I'd put Adam to bed and he was crying his eyes out (as ususal - he likes to enter his sleep-state through cried-out exhaustion!). I said to him 'for heaven's sake Adam, stop screaming! The neighbours will think I'm murdering you!!' Five minutes later, a very upset Miss Parcel appears in the doorway. After much coaxing, I get her to tell me what's wrong..... 'well, you just said that if Adam doesn't stop crying, the neighbours are going to come from next door and murder him!' Isn't life strange in a 5 year old's head? It's a scary place in there, and I wouldn't like to enter without a rope being tied round my middle - just in case I got caught up in her vivid imagination and was stuck there forever - and I'm NEVER playing chinese whispers with her either!

On that note I'm off to crawl to the kitchen for another G&T. Take care all xxXXxx

P.S. Would just like to say get well soon to Julia's Aunty Joyce and Paul's Aunty Mary who are both in hospital at the moment. Love to both and we hope you get better very, very soon xxXXxx

Friday, June 02, 2006

Come on the ‘Socceroos!!’ (and England too!).

Another busy couple of weeks on Planet Delaney. Last weekend we had a BBQ for England’s first match of the world cup. It was ‘live’ on the TV at 9pm which felt a little strange, but we wrapped up and had a few friends over and toasted England’s success (even if it was by default!). We did really well and managed to keep everyone awake until midnight – unheard of in Australia! Everyone likes to be tucked up in bed by 10pm, but you don’t want to know what obscene time they are up in the mornings! It was a giggle, plus the extra body heat kept the house a bit warmer.

I also took the kids and two friends to the cinema to watch ‘Cars’. It was a good film and the kids enjoyed it, although we were so high up on the back row of the cinema, I’m surprised oxygen masks didn’t fall down half way through the film. Three trips to the toilet each was quite reserved, too, don’t you think – NOT! It was strange though, being on the back row of the pictures on my Wedding Anniversary…….. with four children under 8! I can’t believe we’ve been married 11 years now. Doesn’t time fly? So much has happened in those 11 years! What will we be like on our silver anniversary, I wonder? Where will we be then? God, Sam will be 23!! Doesn’t bear thinking about really, it’s just too scary. Although I think he’s heading there fast. He won’t leave the house for school now without hair gel and Darcie came into my room on Saturday, ready for the pictures with blue eyeshadow smeared all over her face from the nostrils upwards like an accident prone lolita! She was dressed in her Snow White outfit – I think she thought she was attending the premiere, not a Saturday afternoon showing in a sleepy backwater!




The kids also had a sleepover on Friday – by this, they mean they all ‘slept over’ in Adam’s room. Darcie and Sam de-camped with duvets and pillows onto the floor in Adam’s room. Adam, however is NOT daft and crept into our bedroom about ten minutes after the others fell asleep! He obviously decided he didn’t fancy sleeping on the floor like a rug! They enjoyed themselves though and must have watched non-stop videos for three hours before they finally nodded off. They are just gutted that Adam has got the little TV in his room now. One of the kids that came over on Saturday was amazed that Adam knows how to turn the TV on, insert a video and play/rewind and fast forward as and when required. He often disappears into his room to watch the Tweenies and then when I go and check on him, he’s watching Thomas! I think I should set up another string to our visa-bow and set up a video programming business – I can send Addy round to help all the old folk in the area who can’t set the timer to record on their videos, or try and play a DVD in their microwave.

Adam was a little git today and was watching the Tigger Movie in his room. He was really quiet (for a change) and really enjoying the film, and when I went to check on him for the third time, he’d whipped his nappy off and made his own little ‘pooh’ on the carpet! Charming! It doesn’t help that the kids encourage him to get ‘nudie’ at every possible opportunity! He knew what he was doing as he’d even moved his bloody potty so he could crap whilst having a better view of the telly!

Darcie had an eventful week at school and got sent home early on Monday after she was accidentally whacked in the eye with a tennis racket by her best mate! So much for taking her to the pictures – is that the thanks we get? Tee hee! We all thought she was going to be left with a huge shiner, but luckily it hasn’t gone black – just a fetching shade of purple. It was quite appropriate as today the school was visited by a hospital familiarisation group who travel around getting kids used to hospitals just in case they ever need treatment. I had visions of picking Darcie up looking like Pudsey bear with a huge eye bandage!



We got our final costings through for the ‘additionals’ on the house today. Not too bad – a few things that we cut out that were a bit extortionate, but on the whole OK. Once we get the form signed and returned, hopefully it should be ‘all systems go’ and they should be on site by August. We have our building license sitting in our file ready, and the services have all been applied for, so come on – let’s get the damn thing built, shall we?? I shall visit the site every day with sandwiches and a thermos flask (the time of year will dictate the contents: August – November = hot soup, December - Feburary = iced tea, March – May = Pimms, June – August = neat vodka!) and make a nuisance of myself, so that the tradesmen will just want to get the house built to get rid of me. I shall devote my life into becoming their stalker – watching every brick being laid, examining every ‘noggin’. Ah, yes, I shall be a nightmare!

On a final note, the kids had their assembly today and we had to stop whilst the Deputy Principal ushered a sea gull out of the assembly hall much to Adam’s delight. All through the school song he shouted ‘sea dull’ and then wandered off behind the bird like a little Forrest Gump in a huge winter coat two sizes too big for him......... life is like a box of chocolates.......... and we've got all the hard centres at the moment!